editing by
Sheila Pfeiffer and Maria Savva
cover design by
Jerry Travis
© 2008, 2009 Jerry Travis & Josephine Mayes
In the field of engineering, whether it be designing a bridge, a computer system, or even an entire world, precise mathematical methods are available to assist engineers in their efforts to produce a creation that is both practical and robust. Exact calculations are made to determine the minimum amount of material and resources (including labor) needed to achieve the desired results, while keeping the costs as low as possible.
For instance, many factors are taken into account when designing a bridge for automobiles. There is a maximum load it must be able to support, so if there is a traffic jam of nothing but heavy trucks, the bridge will support them. If a storm or earthquake as strong as the worse ever recorded for the area hits, the bridge will survive it. Many, many such calculations are made including interactions between events, like what happens when a storm hits while the bridge is jammed with trucks.
Engineered products are seldom built from these minimum specifications though. If they were, the slightest miscalculation, imperfection in material, construction flaw or deterioration due to aging and corrosion could cause catastrophic failure. For that reason, the creations are designed to exceed the minimum requirements. In other words, they are “overbuilt” to a degree. The difference between the theoretical minimum and final specifications is called “The Safety Factor”.
Chapter 2 - The Illustrious
Passenger
Chapter 3 - Down in the Dungeon
Chapter 5 - Back in the Dungeon
Chapter 13 - The Strange Awakening
Chapter 17 - Above and Below the
Sea
Chapter
1 - Maria
Today is going to be
different.
Father
was still sleeping as Maria slipped out into the pre-dawn darkness. She
thought: What a rage there will be when he wakes up without any food
prepared! Then she realized the truth of the matter. Her father often flew
into a rage regardless of what she did. Sometimes he would hold her in his arms
when she had been bad. It didn't make any sense. Today is going to be
different.
Maria shuddered when she thought about what had happened last night,
like so many other nights. Well, it wasn't going to happen again tonight. All
she had to do was to slip onto one of the ships down at the docks undetected.
Once out to sea, it wouldn't matter if she was discovered or not. She knew that
a ship would never turn around for someone as insignificant as her. If she
could remain undetected the entire voyage, her dream would be realized. If not,
she would still be gone for weeks, if not months. Even that possibility seemed
like an eternity.
For everything to work, Maria had to find the right ship to get on
first. She had been closely watching the rats for some time now and envied them
the ease in which they could slip on and off a ship. Something else amazing,
nobody ever seemed to notice or care. They just ran up and down the mooring
ropes. Maria knew that was going to be the key to her success, to be just as
insignificant as a rat.
The problem was, she wasn't a rat and she knew it. Living down by the
docks Maria heard some stories about stowaways and what happened to them if
caught. One of the street boys she knew had been thrown into the brig for
stowing away on a ship. But usually they just had to work, cleaning up this or
that. If they were lucky, the ship's crew might even take a liking to them.
Then they had a chance to stay on indefinitely as a "cabin boy", with
food to eat and a warm place to sleep. Otherwise, they would just be put off at
the next port.
All Maria wanted to do, was to make it to some other place. Of course,
it wouldn't be easy. Heck, she might even have to live like one of the street
boys; now that was a thought that didn't particularly appeal to her!
Nevertheless, she was prepared for it. She did spend enough time with them to
see how they managed to get by, and she knew how to make friends with them. She
may have to do that, wherever she ended up.
Maria started running, excited at being nearly to the docks now. She
had strapped a wineskin filled with water around her waist and hidden it under
her blouse. It began to bounce and scrape against her skin as she ran. She
forced herself to slow down and settle back into a quick but even gate while
telling herself: I must not draw
attention!
It seemed that luck was with her tonight. It was still dark, even though the sky was starting to lighten up a bit above the houses. It was perfect. Dark enough for her to conceal herself, but she would still be able to see what she was doing. Now all she needed to do was to find a ship ready to sail. Maria knew it would be almost impossible stay hidden on a ship, while it was still being loaded or unloaded. She started scanning all the masts and sails in her sight, looking for the ship that was going to take her to her new life.
A long time ago she noticed how the sailors tied the furled sails
around the booms when their ship had docked. That kept the wind from catching
them if a storm came up while in port. When the ship wanted to sail, they had
to untie them before they could unfurl the sails again. To leave early in the
morning, they might do this the night before, if the weather was calm enough.
There was very little activity when she arrived at the docks. It wasn’t
unusual to see a "street urchin" milling about even at this hour. So
Maria casually wandered around playing urchin when she noticed a rather large
ship that had its sails untied. It also seemed to be sitting low in the water,
so it must be fully loaded. Maria strained to see if she could make out the
watch.
It was important that the watch not see her. She knew that even if she
did manage to get aboard while he wasn't looking, eventually he would wonder
where she had gone to, and what she was doing.
Maria noticed that a shadowy figure was moving up on the deck towards
the main mast. It got close to a lantern and the figure of a man became clearly
visible. Maria realized he was about to ring the ships bell, signaling the
beginning of the day. She was sure he hadn't noticed her. Go now! she
thought and headed for the mooring rope at the bow of the ship.
Wrapping her arms and legs around the rope, she swung around it, with
her body hanging underneath. Then she started slinking up the rope, as she had
practiced so many times before. It had taken her a long time to develop the
strength needed to make a climb like this, all the way up to the level of a
ship's deck.
The bell started ringing. Maria knew there was virtually no chance of
the watch seeing her now, while he was distracted with the bell. She figured
the trick would be finding a hiding place up on deck before being seen. The
cover of night wasn’t going to protect her from the ship’s lanterns.
Maria had chosen the bow rope for a very specific reason. It was let
down through the anchor chain port. On the larger ships, these were big enough
for her to crawl through. As she neared the top, it seemed she was virtually
invisible in the surrounding darkness. But the climb became more and more
difficult as the rope got steeper and closer to the ship. She had to keep going
before her strength gave out. The watch would still be midship. Although there
was a bow lantern here, there shouldn't be anyone around to see her.
So timed with the surge of a wave that lifted the rope off the deck,
she tried to pull herself up through the opening. This turned out to be a lot
harder than she had thought. With all the rope climbing she had done, there was
no way for her to practice this part with a real ship riding the swells. She
thought she could just pull herself through when the rope raised up. However,
the rope became hard as a rock when it was up and there wasn't enough space for
her to squeeze between the rope and the deck.
Maria was thinking: Even if there
is room, I’m afraid that the hard rope will squish me against the deck when it
comes back down! And when the rope
goes slack I drop below the deck so that it is impossible to climb up from my
upside down position, with the ship’s hull against my back! The
wineskin hidden underneath her blouse slid around to her back, creating yet
another obstacle! Finally, while the rope was taut she grabbed hold of the deck
with one hand while keeping the other on the rope, and pulled herself up and
through the hole while twisting sideways.
Maria was exhausted, and she was sore too. She just lay there, trying
to regain her strength. All of a sudden, she noticed a man coming up from below
the deck, and he was headed for her! Maria froze right where she lay, she was
sure he was going to see her. All lit up by the lantern, as she was, how could
he possibly miss her?
Maria was still at the anchor port, off to the side. With relief she
noticed the man seemed to be headed towards the point of the ship’s bow, not
directly towards her after all. She thought: Maybe, just maybe, he won't see me!
Her heart was racing, as she did her best to remain calm. If she wasn’t
careful, she might make a mistake, and she may just as well go ahead and introduce
herself right now! The man walked right past her; he couldn’t have been more
than twenty feet away. Maria slowly moved her eyes to see where he went, afraid
even to turn her head. She tried to stop breathing, so as not to be heard. She
was so scared; he might hear her anxious breathing! With relief she noticed; it
was almost too good to be true; he lifted up a clipboard and started writing.
Then she had a funny feeling, as if this was going to be her only
chance. She was going to have to be fast, and quiet. Looking around carefully,
she was just about ready to make her move, when the man lowered the clipboard,
and turned around. Unfortunately, he turned towards her, and not away
from her. Maria could plainly see his face. Surely he could see her too! She
thought: I’m in for it now, there’s no way he can miss me. He’s on his way
to tell the watch! But the man just kept going right on past her, like he
had done this a hundred times before. Maria started shaking really bad. All of
a sudden, she realized how dangerous it could be if she got caught now. Not
only with the ship’s captain, but when they dragged her home, where her father
was. She was so afraid of getting caught!
Finally, the man disappeared below deck from whence he had come. Maria started wondering: Was he really so busy that he didn’t see me? Or did he see me and just knew, somehow, why I have to do what I’m doing? Did he have to do the same thing, when he was younger? She shook her head. Your really asking too many silly questions, she said to herself. You’ll find out soon enough, all you can do is keep going until you either succeed, or get caught. And Maria was determined to succeed; if not now she would try it again, or something else until she did. No one should have to live as she.
Like a feral cat, Maria got to her hands and knees, and slowly crawled out of the light. She noticed the forward hatch was open. Though the ship was loaded, there should still be enough space below deck for a little girl. Dropping down into the hold, she wormed her way through the stacked containers, to find the best hiding place she could. Maria knew she needed to be well out of sight, in case they needed to stow more cargo before sailing. After all, the hatch had been left open and she knew they hadn’t done that for her!
She found a place where she could relax a little and still avoid being
spotted. Letting her mind wander, she started to think about the man on deck
again. She couldn’t believe that man hadn’t seen her. Then, she started to
wonder if hiding would really do her any good. If they decided to search the
ship, they would find her. Then she would really be in trouble,
especially if they recognized her as being the daughter of a local
longshoreman! Maria knew all too well what being brought back to her father
meant now; and that thought spurred her courage to succeed even more intensely.
She thought: How did the man arrive so unexpectedly? Maria had thought
the crew onboard would just now be getting out of their bunks to start the day.
She thought: They should be getting dressed and fetching breakfast, not
walking around on deck!
It seemed as if no one was looking for her. She could tell it was daylight now, as the sunlight streamed in through the open hatch. Just when Maria was beginning to feel lucky as if no one was looking for her, some commotion started happening on the ship. Maria was listening to what seemed to be the sound of many sailors milling around, getting ready for something. She thought to herself: How had the crew gotten here so quickly? Had they all spent the night onboard the ship? And now that they’re up and going, what were they waiting for? Why hadn’t the ship sailed?
She heard some of the sailors talking. At first she couldn’t make the
words out, then she thought she heard someone say something about a lady. And
then she heard the word beautiful, and some other things that kind a made her
nervous, the things men say about women when they think no one is listening.
But Maria was listening. At first, when she heard them mentioning a
lady, she thought they were talking about her. Were they organizing a search
party to try to find her? Then, when she heard them say beautiful, she knew
they weren’t looking for her.
Maria was grateful more than nervous, when suddenly more cargo was
lowered into the hold. She didn’t have the time to think any further about not
being beautiful like a lot of the other girls out there. She had to make sure
she wasn’t seen.
A couple of sailors jumped down inside the hold to free the cargo from the net that had lowered it. Then just as quickly, they jumped right back out when they had finished. Then they closed the hatch and Maria was left in the darkness. Trunks! They were trunks, like the ones used to store clothing; there is something strange about that, she thought. Well, whatever the ship was waiting for seems to have arrived!
Chapter 2 - The Illustrious Passenger
Captain
Marshall was standing on the bridge when The Lady Farrell arrived. Immediately,
he strode down and helped her across the gangplank. “It’s been a long time,
hasn’t it my Dear?” he said as he took her arm to steady her. “So, you think
you’re ready to marry Count Marcel do you?” asked the Captain in his
mischievous, yet charismatic manner.
Lady Farrell smiled and replied, “Oh, I think I’m more than ready for
this one! I’m just so very happy he even asked me for my hand in marriage,
finally!”
“Ah, well now”, said Captain Marshall; “the way I see it, you may be
too good for the likes of him; I mean, you know you could always marry me!”
Lady Farrell loved the way that Captain Marshall always playfully joked
around with her. She not only welcomed his refreshing personality, but also had
grown rather fond of him down through the years. So she replied to him, “Of
course you know, if he doesn’t go through with it, you know I’ll be back
to remind you of your words! But I’m getting rather lost here just now.
Captain, have you ever met my companion and dearest friend, Miss Ellen Dannay?
Miss Ellen Dannay, my dear friend Captain Marshall.”
The Captain bowed low, as Ellen demurely offered her hand to him. After
taking her hand and tenderly kissing it he said; “A pleasure to meet you, Miss
Dannay!” Indeed, he certainly meant it and Ellen almost blushed.
Captain Marshall felt sure that Miss Dannay was Lady Farrell’s handmaiden,
yet it seemed to him as if The Lady did not look on her as such, but as an
equal in social rank. So Captain Marshall treated her with such manners as he
would a lady. It wasn’t a challenge for him to do so.
One of the things Lady Farrell and Captain Marshall had in common is
they believed people should be shown respect according to their behavior, and
not according to their status in the social circles. Knowing just how tricky
and dangerous this attitude can be to one, even within their own social circle,
Captain Marshall highly respected Lady Farrell for having the backbone and wit
to practice such a way of life so openly and actively.
Lady Farrell took Captain Marshall’s arm, as he escorted her up the
gangplank and down the gangway of the great ship, with Miss Dannay following
behind with a few sailors carrying their personal luggage in tow.
Captain Marshall turned to The Lady and said, “We are ready to leave
immediately, as you’ve requested, so let me know as soon as you have settled
in.”
“But I’m ready right now, Captain Marshall!” said Lady Farrell.
The Captain smiled widely, “I should have known as much” he said, and
gave the order to shove off by motioning to one of the sailors on the bridge.
He led Lady Farrell and Miss Dannay to one of the more elaborate doors
of a cabin, and releasing Lady Farrell’s arm he said, “I would be delighted if
you and Miss Dannay would accept my company at dinner time this evening?”
“I am quite sure we would both enjoy your company at dinner, Captain
Marshall. What time shall we expect dinner with our Captain tonight?” laughed
Lady Farrell.
“Dinner is always served at
five sharp, My Lady.” Captain Marshall replied with a wide smile for both Miss
Dannay as well as Lady Farrell, “And if it’s convenient, I shall arrive shortly
beforehand.”
“We look forward to that time!” replied Lady Farrell. “Thank you
Captain Marshall.” The sailors finished stacking the luggage inside the cabin
and departed. Right behind them, the Captain took his leave. The two women went
inside their new quarters for the voyage, and closed the door.
“My Lady!” exclaimed Ellen, “this must be the Captain’s quarters! I
wonder where he will be staying.”
“Elsewhere I would imagine,” said Lady Farrell in a sarcastic voice,
which betrayed her little joke. What a gentleman to give up his own quarters
for us, she thought.
Lady Farrell was all too aware of the importance of Captain Marshall’s
presence on the bridge at the beginning of any voyage, and this one was going
to be a long one. All the way from London to Venice would take quite some time.
And there were strong possibilities of treachery in-between, both from nature
and the human element.
“If my fiancé should happen to recant,” Lady Farrell giggled, “Maybe I
will take Captain Marshall up on his offer! He is, after all, quite a man
himself, and not to be scoffed upon in the social circles either!”
“They are both incredible men,” replied Ellen. She was so happy for her
friend. The Lady had so many wonderful choices before her, all of them worthy
of her future life. She reflected for a moment on the differences between the
two of them, in that respect. Here were two women, who by chance, had met and
become strong friends from an early age, even though they were not at all from
the same social class. They had been together so much and for so long, Ellen
had received as much of an education as The Lady herself.
Lady Farrell had always demanded her tutors and the etiquette pedagogue
treat both of them the same. And as it turned out, they were more than happy to
oblige her. They both grew up to become beautiful, cultured, intelligent and
educated women. And they both possessed a very gentle, yet strong personality
and heart. One might think they would both be able to receive a fine, balanced
marriage.
Not so. In this world, it is all a matter of “breeding”. If your family
didn’t have the appropriate social rank, apparently you’re not worthy of it
even by marriage; and to marry higher than one’s own social rank? The only way
Ellen would ever get an offer of marriage even close to those Lady Farrell
constantly received, would be within the confines of a joke.
Would she one day marry? And what sort of man could she marry, and how
would that affect her relationship with The Lady? Whoever it was, whoever would
“have” her, would not and could not be of Lady Farrell’s standing.
So Ellen was determined to make the best out of the current situation, especially on this voyage, her first time at sea. Why these moments may be the last, most exciting ones of her life, now that The Lady Farrell was about to be married!
Chapter 3 - Down in the Dungeon
As Maria’s
eyes slowly adjusted to the dark, she began to see a number of little glowing
glass pyramids sticking down from the upper deck. She couldn’t see too well,
there really wasn’t that much light, but it was enough for her to explore her
new, albeit temporary world.
Maria knew from the boys down at the docks that she needed to bring
some food and water with her for the trip. There really wasn’t any way for her
to know where the ship was going, or if there would be accessible supplies. Not
knowing how long the voyage would last told her she would have to fend for
herself as the need arose. On a short trip, she could probably hold out with
her own supplies. On a longer voyage, they would give her the discretion she
needed to supply herself from the stores aboard ship, hopefully without being
caught.
She had hoped to choose her hiding spot with a little more cleverness,
but the man who had unexpectedly come up on deck scared her so much she had
hidden in the very first spot that presented itself. And now she was stuck with
it! Maria realized the sustenance she had brought with her wasn’t going to last
for long. She thought: I hope I can find more supplies soon!
Right away she started looking for food and drink, anything she could
chip little amounts from without it being noticed, such as a barrel of water or
salted pork. She figured once they put into their port of destination, she
would be able to leave the ship the same way she had gotten on without anyone
being the wiser.
Maria mused for a moment in her search, at how simple it all sounds
when you think about doing something like this, stowing away on a ship. She was
beginning to learn the difference between planning and doing, and finding out
they are quite different matters. Quite different indeed! The fact that she
couldn’t find any sign of food or drink anywhere helped her realize
that.
She did find a broken barrel. She thought to herself in irony: At
least I’ll have a commode...
Maria looked up above her at the hatch cover. It looked heavy! She
thought: I wonder if I’ll even be able to lift that heavy hatch. I hope it
isn’t latched! So many details; she knew she could make a grave mistake by
leaving any of a multitude of “small” details out of her plans.
Maria began to panic. She should have thought her plan out better
before executing it. It would have been much better to anticipate the problems
ahead of time, instead of now! The truth of the matter was; it was unlikely the
crew would put the food supplies in the forward hold for the voyage. It would
be far more convenient for them to make trips to the center hold, as it was
closer to the galley and all.
Those trunks, Maria
thought to herself out of nowhere. They must belong to someone. Someone who
just may wish to access their contents during the voyage… What else could go
wrong? She could only hope they had brought other luggage with them, just
for the trip. Then thinking more positively, she realized they could be used to
help her get off the ship, by hiding inside one of them. It seemed likely to
Maria that having been loaded last, they would be one of the first things taken
off the ship, when they docked.
Maria thought: Everything is so much more complicated than I
expected it to be! One tiny little thing wrong, and poof! You’re
swallowed up. And how easy it is to make a mistake! How can I know what is the
right choice? These little mistakes are serious. I just can’t go back to
Father, I can’t! I would rather die down here, and that isn’t why I ran
away, that’s for sure! Maria tried to stop thinking about it. She was
making herself sad, and she needed to be on her toes. She needed to be alert to
the future, instead of worrying about the past. All that was beyond her ability
to change.
Suddenly, Maria realized she didn’t need to panic right now, and
started to calm down. What food and water she had brought with her would last
for days. That would give her an opportunity to find out more about her new
little world, and see if she could lift the hatch to the hold. If she could do
that, then she could sneak out at night to find food and water. Right now, all
she could do was wait…
Sitting around like this in the dark, was terrible! There was nothing
for her to do. She hated this! It made her mind wander back to other things,
like when her father would disappear for days on one of his binges. Maria knew
she should have been grateful for his absence, and have tried to enjoy herself.
But how could she do that, when she didn’t know when he was coming home again
to ruin everything?
Father almost always came back in a terrible state of mind, generating
a lot of misery for her. Sometimes, she would wish that he would never come
back again at all. In reality though, she didn’t believe that was very likely.
Sitting there in the dark with nothing to do but think, Maria wondered:
Have I made the right decision? Was there anything else I could have done
instead of this? In the end, Maria didn’t believe there was anyone she
could have turned to; who would have believed her? And then, what would they,
or could they have done about it?
She even thought about going to a priest and telling him; but what good
would that do when her father didn’t even go to Mass? Besides, if God really
cared, she shouldn’t need to go tell a priest to get His help, should she? It
didn’t take her long to learn the truth about God. Maria knew beyond any shadow
of a doubt; there was no way God could be real! If there really were a loving
God, He wouldn’t have stolen Mother away from her. And then, as if that weren’t
bad enough, He allowed her father to do the terrible things to her that he did,
over and over again! She knew they were wrong, because things were different
when Mother was alive. Things were a lot different back then.
No! Stop it! Maria
said sternly to herself. Nobody really cares about me. If they did, none of
these things would have ever happened. Maria sighed: The only one in the
whole wide world who ever did care about me is gone.
It really wasn’t very long ago that Maria started hearing the street
boys telling stories about how some priests were doing the same kind of things
with kids too, and from what she heard, it was mostly with the boys! She had a
hard time believing that herself, even when she knew it had to be
possible. It was terrible, but possible. Anything bad was possible in
this world! Then she asked herself: Why would anyone choose the life of a
"good" priest, and yet do such evil things in secret?
If she had such a hard time believing the street boys about this, who
was going to think anything of what was happening to her? “Just an unhappy
child since her mother had died,” that’s what they would say. Then she would really
catch it from her father. She was glad she hadn’t told anybody, she couldn’t
imagine how, but she knew telling would have only made her life even worse.
No doubt about it,
Maria thought to herself: I did the right thing! She shuddered when she
thought of how close she had come to telling Father Fred. She thought to
herself: I wonder if I could have trusted him? Maria would have liked to
think that he, of all the priests, could be trusted; but it really didn’t
matter any more, did it?
She thought of her mother once more and asked herself: Why did she
have to die? Sometimes she thought that her father might have had something
to do with her death. And sometimes she even wondered if she had done something
that caused her to leave, to leave by dying on her. What is wrong with me
that my own mother should die?
Coming out of her mental trance, Maria noticed it had gotten a lot
darker. It was now almost completely dark in the hold. She thought: The sun
must have gone down. It’s so hard to tell how much time has passed by down
here!
Soon she heard what sounded like the evening meal bell, followed by the
sounds of all the sailors moving towards a well-earned recompense.
Maria waited for what seemed like forever, before she decided to try
the hatch and see what she was up against there. Climbing up on top of one of
the trunks, she braced her legs and started pushing against the hatch with her
back. It was hard, but she found that it was indeed unlatched. Though the hatch
was heavy, she would be able to lift it all the way, when she needed to. Now
that’s a relief, she thought to herself. With so many things going awry,
she was rather pleased this one had gone in her favor.
Carefully, she let the hatch back down. The ship was still close to
port, and besides, there wasn’t any reason to leave this safe little world of
hers right now. At least she knew she wasn’t trapped! She had carefully timed
the raising with a swell, so if anyone had been looking, they might easily
dismiss what they had seen. Climbing down off the trunks, she went back to her
hiding place. She was tired, no, exhausted from the day, both in body and mind.
Maria wished she could stop her mind as easily as her body, but heretofore had never succeeded with it. If it wasn’t live thoughts, it was their shadows that would haunt her, always. And it was always the same shadows. Maria thought: I can feel them, even when I can’t see or hear them. As she was thinking this, her thoughts once again gradually turned into the shadows, so subtly that Maria didn't even notice. Shadows that made no sense, but were all the same fraught with hidden meaning, contorted and confused like some horrible, unseen nightmare. Fortunately, Maria passed out cold from the adventures of the day, while the shadows melted together within her mind.
Chapter 4 - The Dinner
Time passed
rather quickly for Lady Farrell and Ellen, as they chattered away while
unpacking what they could for their long voyage.
Before they knew it, the cook and his entourage had begun to arrive
with their meal for the evening. Both women were deeply impressed with the
truly wonderful smells and sights of dinner. Obviously, the cook had taken
great care to do his best. Even Lady Farrell, who was used to much better, was
impressed. After all, they were on a ship at sea where resources were quite
limited.
Ellen helped arrange the table for dinner, as Lady Farrell peeked
towards the door of their cabin to see if the captain was close by yet.
“This even looks better than the last meal I had at sea with the
Captain,” said Lady Farrell. “See what happens,” she affectionately teased
Ellen, “when you are with me?”
Ellen turned, and afforded The Lady a coy smile in return, as she
asked, “When was that?”
“A very long time ago, when I was a young little thing - not too very
long before I met you. It was an enchanting trip up the Seine, as I recall.”
“Oh really?” asked Ellen. “ You seem to remember that trip rather
clearly. Where did you go?”
“Ah, that’s when I went to Paris. It happened to be my introduction to
the French court,” said The Lady.
“You knew the Captain that long ago, did you?” asked Ellen.
“Yes,” said The Lady. “I’ve known him for quite some time now. We’ve
kept in touch throughout the years, with mutual fondness for each other. He’s a
remarkable man, really. Periodically, we meet each other to review what has
been happening in our lives, which only happens to solidify our friendship more
than before. The Captain is one of the few people I trust implicitly. You, of
all people, have known me long enough to know I wouldn’t allow just anyone such
informal behavior around me, as you witnessed from the Captain when we
boarded!” quietly exclaimed The Lady.
The cook and crew quickly left the cabin, and Ellen just had to ask, “I
had wondered about that! So, what is the Captain really all about,
Lady?”
“Well, I would venture to say, Ellen, that under all that charming
bluster, he’s quite a remarkably dear man. Beyond his duties as Captain, he
doesn’t seem to care much for politics. He’s a fair man, and treats people on
individual merit, instead of according to their social standings. In truth, it
is because of knowing him that I am who I am, with such a lovely friend as you,
Ellen. I learned so much from him on that trip to Paris!”
Both women were silent. Then after quite a pause, Lady Farrell
expressed something else on her mind. “You’re most likely aware of the fact that
there are some in high social station, that for one reason or another, that,
um, believe I may not exactly be ‘worthy’ of marriage to my fiancé. With all
the intrigue that constantly surrounds the throne, and those closest to it,
there is some fear that someone may attempt to stop our marriage, in one way or
another. I dare say none of their methods are likely to be friendly towards my
future, in any way. Because of the temerity of these people, as well as their
political positions, Captain Marshall was specifically chosen to care for our
safe voyage to the Viennese Court, based almost entirely on his integrity.
Captain Marshall would not, and will not deviate in his mission for anyone, not
even if the Queen herself demanded it. He is a true friend.”
Ellen looked very upset upon hearing this. It was the first she had
been told of the seriousness of the adversaries to Lady Farrell’s marriage.
Before she could get any queries out of her mouth The Lady remarked, “You must
understand, the possibility is remote that anything will happen during our
voyage. I told you of it only so you would understand something of the man in
the Captain.” Ellen, though, was not so easily convinced. She had the distinct
impression The Lady had picked up on her shock, and was merely consoling her.
There was a light knock on the door, a momentary pause and the door
opened. She shouldn't have been startled, but Ellen felt her heart jump. The
Captain entered with a warm smile, as they set down to dinner.
Captain Marshall said, "Sorry I'm a bit late. Ship's business, you
know."
The Lady smiled back and teasing him said, "Ellen and I were just
speaking of you."
"Good things, I hope!" he returned in good humor.
Lady Farrell replied, "Oh yes, of course. I was just wondering
Captain Marshall. When we first met, I was just a child. You were a ship’s
captain then, as you are now. Why in God’s Heaven, haven't you been
promoted?"
The Captain replied, "Ah, well, I don't want to be promoted. The
truth is I enjoy being a ship's captain. I don't think I'd really be happy
doing much of anything else."
“But surely you won’t be doing this the rest of your life,” said Lady
Farrell. “Have you ever considered settling down and raising a family?”
“Of course, I’ve thought about it,” said the Captain. “Who wouldn’t?
But the truth is, I just haven’t met the right woman.”
“Oh, come now. Many ship captains have wives, why not you?” countered
The Lady.
The Captain explained, “I know, but it takes a special woman to be
truly happy in that situation. You are away so much of the time. Many women
have a hard time dealing with that. Either they don’t really care for you and
dread your return, because now they’ll have to ‘play wife’. Or they really do
love you and miss you terribly while you’re at sea. Either way, they quickly
become accustomed to the quality of life afforded to captains’ wives and worry
about losing their husbands the entire time you’re out. There are many captains
wives, but not many happy ones.”
“So, it’s important to you for this woman you haven’t been able to find
to be happy?” asked Lady Farrell.
Captain Marshall replied, “Yes, it is important. I know it isn’t
important to everyone, but it’s important to me.”
Ellen ate as she listened, but she really wasn't very hungry. She was
so fascinated with the conversation going on between Captain Marshall and Lady
Farrell! Having spent so much time around the men in the court, it was hard to
believe that a man such as Captain Marshall actually existed. Most of the ones
she knew would slit each other’s throats for a promotion, and could care less
if their wives were happy or not! No, those people weren’t men. She felt like
she had met a man, a real man, for the very first time in her life, in
Captain Marshall.
Even Lady Farrell’s father had to deal with a certain amount of
scuttlebutt. It was just part of life in the court. No, life wasn’t the right
word. It was more like survival. There was always someone trying to cut you out
and take your place.
This life of a ship’s captain was different. There was no question as
to who was in charge here. Ellen knew that even the Queen herself didn’t have
such power over her domain and subjects, as Captain Marshall had over his ship
and crew. No worrying about politics and having to make compromises because
you’re afraid of losing somebody’s support. No wonder he liked it so much!
“So what do you think of all this, Ellen? You’ve been awfully quiet.”
posed the Captain as he turned towards her. This caught her totally by
surprise. She had been involved in her own thoughts. And she was, quite
frankly, used to being ignored in such situations, as if she was just one of
the servants, or even a piece of furniture.
Ellen felt her face starting to flush. Captain Marshall was making a
point to include her in the conversation. She quickly composed herself and
said, “I’m sorry, I was sort of lost in my own thoughts.”
“You’re not interested in the conversation? Perhaps we could talk about
something else?” he asked.
“No, I’m very interested in the current conversation,” replied Ellen.
“I was wondering about what kind of woman you are looking for. Could you
describe her characteristics for me?”
“Well, I would like her to be beautiful, intelligent, educated and
graceful. The real problem is this issue about being a captain’s wife though,
as The Lady and I were just discussing. Do you have any ideas on that?”
“Yes indeed,” Ellen replied. “As a matter of fact, I believe I do. It
would seem to me you need a woman who is secure and well established in the
life she has now. When you are out at sea, she would be busy with her former
life and not have to worry about you so much. And when you’re home, she could
focus on you. I think such a woman could remain happy in both situations. You
see, I was paying attention to the conversation.”
Captain Marshall sat back in his chair and looked at Ellen as if he had
just seen her for the very first time. Then he bent forward again and said,
“This going back and forth between two different worlds would require a woman
in a very unusual circumstance. Generally, marriage changes everything for a
woman.”
Ellen said, “Yes, that is true, but such situations are not unknown. It
would require a great deal of leniency and understanding on the part of those
currently in control of the woman’s life, and by you as well. Don’t forget that
last point! You would have to be willing for the woman to lead her own life,
while you’re away.”
“I don’t think that would be a problem,” said the Captain. “What about
when it comes time to raise a family? That definitely would change her life,
especially while I’m away.”
Ellen said, “Yes, she would undoubtedly become more dependent on you
then. Having children might also act as a trigger, forcing her benefactor to
cut her loose at that point, when the marriage alone didn’t particularly create
a problem. Then, it’s possible that all that worrying and unhappiness you
mentioned could be an issue again.”
“Not necessarily,” injected Lady Farrell. “During this little
conservation the two of you have been having, I’ve been the one sitting back
and listening.” Then turning to the Captain she said, “And it struck me that
the kind of woman you’re looking for is someone who’s in a position such as
Ellen. I, as her “benefactor” provide a stable and supportive environment for
her, and she provides constant companionship for me. My upcoming marriage will
no doubt have an impact on our relationship. Not a serious one I hope, but an
impact nevertheless.
“Now you understand, I’m speaking hypothetically,” insisted The Lady. “In the past, I may not have been willing to share Ellen with a husband. But soon, she will no longer be able to be my constant companion, though I certainly hope we can remain close friends. This will free up time for her to pursue a life outside of our friendship, indeed, she will need to, for her own sake and sanity.
“I’ve been kind of dreading this in a way, because I don’t really want
to give her up altogether. And that is probably what would have happened if she
had married, or so I thought. Then this idea of being married to a ship’s captain
came up, and I must say I like it. It’s a solution for me. When Ellen’s
hypothetical husband is out to sea, we can be companions as always. When he’s
home, I’ll focus on my husband, much as she will focus on hers. We would each
have time together, and time alone with our husbands. And the raising of
children would no longer be an issue that might alienate some other benefactor.
We would simply be raising our children together, both on the same plane and
friends as always.”
When the
dinner was over, and the Captain had taken his departure, Ellen and The Lady
began settling in for the night. Ellen’s mind was still reeling from what she
had heard. Lady Farrell had just given permission for her to marry!
It was curious. She had just been thinking about her future at the
start of this voyage, wondering about the possibility that she might some day
marry, but she didn’t really see it. And now, it was if a door had opened up
for her. It was no longer a possibility. It was reality. In fact, it’s what she
should do, to preserve her station in life.
And then there was the Captain. Such a wonderful man to be so concerned
about his future wife’s happiness! And how it was he who included her in
the conversation. It was he who had shown interest in her, and in her
ideas. Would it be possible for him to take a romantic interest in her? Could
it be possible?
It seemed as if it was just too good to be true. Was it too much to ask
for? Is there some kind limit on the amount of good that may happen to a person
in one day? Or was she just deluding herself? What did the Captain really think
about her, and The Lady’s suggestion for the two of them?
The plain fact of the matter was, she didn’t know. And it was torture, the not knowing. No matter how much she tried to analyze what was said between the words and the expressions on his face, she just didn’t know. Still, she couldn’t stop thinking about the man she had gotten to know that evening.
Chapter 5 - Back in the Dungeon
Maria
suddenly woke up. What am I doing? she said to herself. It all seemed
like a dream. Here she was, stowed away in the hold of a ship! She thought: How
did I find the courage to do this? This all seems like a gigantic
mistake!
She started reminding herself of the reasons, but then she realized it
didn't make any difference, not any more. She was here now, committed to
this line of action. She was determined to make the best out of it, no matter
what.
There was light in the hold again; the little pyramids were slowly
growing brighter. Maria had not eaten anything for a day, yet she didn't
particularly feel hungry. The excitement and shock of her actions had
temporarily elevated her to an almost incorporeal level of existence.
Noticing a rat scurrying to and fro, smelling its way about the cargo,
Maria shuddered at the sight of it, and wondered just how hungry she would have
to get, to eat something like that! Yet she knew there were women at the
docks who actually made and ate “rat pie”. It had been offered to her once or
twice, but could never bring herself to accept it. Never! Ugh!
Her mind still raged. It seemed mentally cruel to have to stay hidden
in the hold with nothing to do. Her thoughts so often plagued her: Why can’t
I keep my mind at bay? When it got light enough, she made another tour of
the hold, but found nothing new.
She tried to think nice thoughts, to keep her mind occupied and with
good things. She remembered her friends, the street boys. They helped her learn
how to climb the ropes. Could they have done anything about her father? She
regretted leaving them behind. They had been good to her.
Thinking back, she remembered a time when they were all sitting
together, talking about what kind of people they would be, when they grew up.
Around in a circle they went, telling their dreams one by one. “I want to be a
ship’s captain!” said one boy. “A businessman!” wished another boy. “A
soldier!” squawked another. When it was Maria’s turn, she said rather timidly,
“I want to be a lady.”
The street boys broke into laughter. They laughed and laughed and rolled around. They laughed like it was the funniest thing they had ever heard in their lives! “How can you be a lady?” one of them finally asked, “When you’re just one of the boys!” From then on, whenever they wanted a good laugh they would start calling her, “Lady Maria”. They never forgot the joke.
Maria was so embarrassed she began to wonder: What kind of woman
will I be when I grow up? Will I be pretty or ugly? Will I develop a woman’s
body, or will I always look like I do now, like “one of the boys”?
Her thoughts just wouldn't go away: Why does my father see the woman
in me, when no one else can? She began to wonder once again why or how such
a thing could have happened.
Where did it all start?
she thought. It seemed so long ago, like some other world, some other life. Was
that really her? A child dearly loved by her mother, and yes, even by her
father – or so she had thought. She strained, trying to remember what love felt
like. She could remember being loved, but not what it felt like anymore. It was
all some far away dream, like a story about someone else.
One of the women Maria knew had once tried to explain what love was to
her. She described it as a warm glowing feeling that started in the heart and
moved out from there to all the extremities of the body. But the only feelings
Maria had anymore that centered about her heart were the pins and needles of
pain she felt when receiving the unwanted attentions of her father. And they
moved in the opposite direction, starting in her hands and feet, moving from
there to her heart. She didn’t even have any words for what she felt. An
adult might call them guilt and shame, but Maria didn’t know what they were.
She just knew the physical pain of them, pain that she couldn’t escape, even
now.
And the pain hurt. Oh God, how it hurt! Not like the pain she felt when
she injured herself. That pain was sharp and went away quickly. This pain was
dull and hollow. And it didn’t go away, not ever. It hurt right in the center
of her heart, all the time.
After her mother's death, father started drinking heavily. It didn't
seem to cause any problems at first. He would just drink and drink until he
fell asleep – wherever he happened to be at the time. Maria had even thought it
was good that he had something to help him sleep. It was hard for her to sleep
after mother’s death as well.
Sometimes late in the evening, just before bed they would hold each
other and talk about her, to remember her. Then it became a ritual, every night
longer and longer – more holding and less talking. And father, every night a
little drunker and drunker. Then there is was, the reason why she was on this
ship right now, the memory of that horrible night – the first of many, but it
was the worst… Maria stopped herself. “No!” she said out loud. Then realizing
she needed to keep quiet she thought: I don’t want to think about that
anymore! Not ever again!
What a mistake it had all been! It had been a stupid, foolish and
childish thing to allow. If only she had understood more about it then, like
she did now!
Maria didn’t see how she could have known at the time. How could she
know that “the ritual” would send her father off on his mad course? Oh, if only
she could go back and do things differently! Sometimes Maria wondered had the
ritual not been started, would it have really made any difference in the end?
Would she still be home with her father? Or would he still have, for some other
reason, done what he had done to her? But now there was no way to know. He had
started it, and she just let it happen. She thought to herself: Did I
unwittingly entice my own father? I should have known better! I should
have known it wasn’t right! And in her heart she (erroneously) felt
it was her fault: It’s my fault! It’s all my fault!
As her father's drinking progressed, it no longer seemed to help him
sleep. Instead, he became agitated. He acted as if his mind was in a dream-like
state, but his body was very much awake. He was living out a dream (or a
nightmare) in the real world, as Maria knew all to well. It didn’t seem to take
long for him to become worse and worse, and more and more brutal.
Then, once the drink wore off, he turned quiet and withdrawn, somewhat
“normal” more or less. Each time he came back a little less "normal"
than the time before. And then he would make the promises, which he never did
keep. Maria was so tired of hearing all of those empty promises. They meant
nothing now, and they didn’t mean anything then either!
It struck Maria that everything the priests say about God, amounts to
nothing more than a bunch of promises as well. She thought to herself: They
say if I do what “God” wants me to do now, I will receive something good in the
future. It is always in the future. Just when does the future come? I never
heard them say, "Do something good today, and you’ll receive something
good today." It was always somewhere in the future. When? Like after you
die? What a perfectly lovely lie! You trick people into doing things
they really don't want to, with just a promise that you never have to keep!
She wondered if God was like her father. Someone who gets drunk and
hurts people, then feel sorry later and makes promises. That is why she knew
there was no God like the priests talk about. If there was a god at all, he was
like her father. It sure looked that way to Maria, and she was sure the street
boys felt the same way.
Chapter 6 - The Railing
Ellen awoke
early. She felt rested, despite the fact that she hadn’t slept well that night.
She just lay there waiting for The Lady to awaken. She liked times like this
since it gave her a chance to think about herself. On this particular morning
she wasn’t thinking about herself though, she was thinking about Captain
Marshall.
After helping Lady Farrell get dressed and attending to her various morning duties, she would be free for a while. Once dismissed, she went out on deck to enjoy the morning. It was still early and she wanted to feel the breeze against her face as she leaned forward over the railing.
She found a nice bit of railing near the bow of the ship. It was a
beautiful day. Ellen looked out on the waters and noticed a school of dolphins
bobbing up and down, playfully swimming alongside the ship. It was a perfect
morning, a perfect scene.
After having enjoyed the moment there for some time, Ellen became aware
that she might be making a spectacle of herself. She thought: I should go
inside and check on The Lady, to see if she needs anything. So pulling
herself away she turned to go, but then noticed the Captain walking towards
her. She quickly turned back to look out over the sea again, trying to pretend
she hadn’t noticed him.
He approached anyway, taking up a position along the railing beside
her. With the encounter now unavoidable, she nervously turned to face him.
However, he was not looking at her, as he was gazing out over the water.
Still looking straight ahead he asked, “What did you think about that
wild conversation last night?”
“I think The Lady’s gotten a little ahead of herself,” replied Ellen.
“Understandable,” said the Captain. “You know, she really likes you and
she’s worried about how her upcoming marriage is going to affect your
friendship. It’s quite understandable she’s trying to set you up somehow.”
“Yes, I know. But you have to admit she made some keen observations,”
responded Ellen.
Captain Marshall said, “I made some keen observations of my own last
evening. You and The Lady have been together a long time now, I imagine.”
“Yes. Almost since the time of your last voyage with her.”
“You’ve been together constantly since then?”
Ellen answered, “Yes, constantly. We did more than just play together.
We ate together and slept together. We were even educated together. We’ve had
the same tutors, the same etiquette training and so on. Eileen has really been
a great friend. She simply has to be with me all the time. The only time I’m
not with her is during certain high level social functions.”
“You’ve been her companion for a long time, but soon all that will of
necessity be changing?” asked the Captain.
Ellen replied, “Yes. As she herself pointed out, our relationship is
changing. And neither one of us knows where it will end up.”
“You called her Eileen. I’ve never heard her called that before, is
that her real name?”
“Yes, it’s her Christian name, but nobody calls her that, not even her father. They all call her ‘Lady’; even from the time I first met her. I used to think it was due to the fact that our names were so similar, but of course I quickly learned that wasn’t it after all.” Ellen looked down at the deck.
“Yes, I know,” moaned the Captain. “I had to address her the
same way on our first voyage. I guess there have always been great plans for
her. And now those plans are about to be realized.”
Ellen explained, “Her father, Sir Farrell, is indeed a court official,
but a rather minor one. He has the tedious job of managing the Queen’s
financial records. Now, he’s not the treasurer. He doesn’t have direct access
to the funds. But he’s the one that does all the actual work, keeping the
balances straight and tracking where everything goes.
“I’ve always thought of him as doing the job that none of the others
are capable of. Or if they are capable, they don’t want that sort of work.
Nevertheless, he is absolutely necessary and his position is assured, as long
as he doesn’t fail in his duties. And his temperament is such that there is
little chance of that. He is always consulted when anything with a significant
financial impact is discussed.
“But his ambitions towards his daughter far outstrip his current
position. He has raised her to be a consort, fit for a King. I guess he’s
frustrated and sees no means of advancement himself, so he’s channeled all his
ambitions into her. He sees in her a means of obtaining the prominence he will
never be able to secure for himself,” concluded Ellen.
The Captain asked, “Where was The Lady’s mother during all of this? Why
hasn’t she reined him in? Does she share her husband’s ambitions?”
Ellen replied, “I don’t know. I never got a chance to meet her. She
died shortly before I was selected as her companion. Her death was no doubt one
of the driving forces for getting The Lady a companion; to help her get over
the loss of her mother. Her father, curiously enough, has never remarried.”
Then thinking out loud the Captain said, “So, no woman around to curb
her father’s ambitions, and with his access to the court; he has everything he
needs to turn his daughter into something to be reckoned with.” It sounded
almost pitiful to the Captain, and the expression on his face betrayed his
thoughts.
Ellen said, “The funny thing is that The Lady loves it! She
thrives on all the attention and does everything in her power to live up to her
father’s ambitions. She views it as her destiny; her purpose in life; her
reason for being.”
The Captain and Ellen paused for a bit, taking in the morning. Then he
said, “Why is it that I’ve never met you before? I’ve met The Lady a number of
times since our last voyage, but I don’t recall ever having met you before. I’m
sure I would have remembered you.”
“Where have you see her?” asked Ellen.
“At various social functions, a ball here, a dinner there. I try to
attend as few of those as possible, but sometimes I have no choice. There are
certain people you just don’t turn down, if you get ‘invited’. It’s more like a
command.”
Ellen looking down again said, “Yes, I know what you mean. I’m almost
always not welcome at the social functions, because of my common birth. If it’s
important enough for her to be there, they certainly don’t want a ‘handmaiden’
running around. I’m not complaining though. My association with The Lady has
given me opportunities to learn and do things of which I could never have
imagined, and without a lot of the social responsibilities that come with them
for many others.”
“Oh, yes, you did say that, didn’t you?” said Captain Marshall.
“Excluding you at those gatherings was certainly our loss, not yours.” He
paused for a moment, then said, “You know, I always thought someone like The
Lady was unobtainable for me. You’ve heard us joking around about marrying each
other. But it’s just a joke. Both of us know it’s impossible. Maybe that’s what
makes the joke so funny,” observed the Captain.
“You say you thought someone like The Lady was unobtainable for
you?” asked Ellen.
“I’m realizing now, it may be obtainable after all. As you’ve pointed
out, you are in every way The Lady’s equal.”
“Now, I didn’t say that. I just said that we’ve experienced the same
things since we’ve been together.”
“So, what’s the difference?” he asked.
Ellen looked down again and replied, “She has the birthright, and I
don’t.”
“Rubbish!” exclaimed Captain Marshall. “Have you ever wondered what
makes a good captain?”
Ellen, caught off guard by the radical change in topic looked up at the
Captain and stared right into his eyes. Moving her head back a bit with a
puzzled look on her face, she simply asked, “What?”
“I can’t tell you what it is, but I can tell you what it isn’t. Some of
the worst captains I’ve met in my life are those who had the ‘birthright’. And
some of the best were of common birth. As far as I can tell, birthright makes no
difference as to what sort of a captain you’ll be. If it gives you anything at
all, it’s the chance to be educated. And even that doesn’t seem to help a lot
of those who do have the birthright.”
Ellen, capitalizing on the Captain’s change of tempo, asked point
blank, “What did you think about The Lady’s ‘hypothetical’ suggestion?”
“Well, like you said, I think she’s getting ahead of herself.” Then lightheartedly the Captain ventured, ”I think before we marry each other we ought to find out if we like each other first. And in order to find that out we need to get to know each other better. So I guess it all comes down to whether you would like to get to know me better, since I certainly would like to get to know you.”
Ellen couldn’t believe her ears. Captain Marshall had just put into
words exactly what was in her heart. She would like that! She would like that
very much. But should she tell him? She had already been quite forward with the
Captain. Her etiquette training told her she shouldn’t continue in that vein.
She needed something subtler. Then she had it.
A bit of tear began to form in her eyes. So she turned out to look over
the sea, fearing he might notice. “What is your Christian name?” she asked.
“My Christian name is Harlan,” he stated rather dully.
As they continued to talk, the conversation became more and more
intimate all the while. Despite the day being so beautiful, suddenly Ellen
became unaware of her surroundings. She didn’t even notice the railing that she
was leaning against. The railing, the ship, the sea, even the sky, everything
was gone. The only things that existed in the Universe were Harlan and herself.
Then something totally unexpected happened to her. A feeling started to
swell in her chest. A wondrously warm and comfortable feeling that seemed to be
centered in her heart. As it continued to grow, it spread out and ran down her
arms and legs, all the way to the very tips of her fingers and toes. Then it
seemed to almost leap or radiate out from her, almost like a fire. A wonderfully
pleasant fire!
She had never experienced anything like this before. Is this what
happens when people fall in love? she thought to herself. She didn’t know,
but she couldn’t imagine it being any more wonderful than this. She must be
falling in love. Then she wondered: Is there no limit to the amount of good
that could happen to a person in a single day?
Eventually, the Captain courteously dismissed himself and resumed his
duties. Ellen returned her attention to the day, and the feeling gradually
subsided bit by bit. Still, she knew it remained like a smoldering fire in her
heart, ready to burst forth again, at a moment’s notice.
Over the next few days, Harlan and Ellen continued visiting and getting
to know each other better. Ellen’s feeling continued to grow stronger and
stronger each time. And when she was away from him, that strong feeling
subsided less and less. It was with her constantly now, like the beating of her
own heart. And Ellen knew he felt the same way about her. Words weren’t
necessary. Somehow she just knew what his feelings for her were.
Though Ellen didn’t fully understand what the feelings she had were or what name to put on them; she did know one thing - she would do anything for this man. Anything.
Chapter 7 - Hunger and Thirst
It had been several days now. The wineskin of water Maria had brought aboard with her had long since been exhausted. She knew that a person could last several days without water, and a week or more without food. However, that mere fact did not prepare her for the intensity of hunger and thirst she now experienced. To her, it didn’t seem possible that one could last that long!
Her thoughts turned back to the unfortunate encounters with her father.
From his own words, he also suffered from a type of hunger and thirst. It
wasn’t a hunger for food, or a thirst for water. His was a hunger for lewdness,
and a thirst for alcohol. Maria wondered: Could those desires in my father
be as strong in him, as what I'm feeling right now for food and water?
This firmed up her resolve. If she gave in now, it would be like her
father giving into his own desires. And she wasn't about to do that! It
disgusted her that her father could not control himself. She would disgust
herself, if she gave in to her own desires, no matter how strong they may be.
Maria kicked herself. The comparison was not right. She would
eventually die without food or water, but her father would not die from
a lack of lewdness or alcohol. Why couldn't he control himself?
Even when her father failed to come home for days on end and the
supplies in their little house ran out, she could always get something to eat
from one of the neighbors. But here there was nothing, not even water, which
she could get anywhere back home. Maria spoke under her breath, as if in an effort
to convince herself, “I’ve never been so thirsty and hungry in my whole life,
but I must stay here until it’s dark and try to sneak out.”
Suddenly Maria remembered what the street boys had told her about being
hungry and realized she hadn’t understood them at all, but she was beginning to
understand now. She remembered stories they would tell her about men stranded
at sea for months, stories of cannibalism! She had never even considered that
the stories might actually be true. How could it be possible for hunger to grow
so strong, that “good” men would do such things? And now, her own hunger was
making her reconsider a lot of things. She couldn’t ever do that though,
to eat another person. However, “rat pie” was beginning to sound good!
Could this hunger become so strong that she could lose her ability to
control it? If she stayed in the hold long enough, would hunger and thirst
force her to surrender herself? She knew she might have to come out from
time to time in order to feed herself. She knew she needed food and
water to say alive. And yet she had always thought it would be her choice, if
and when she decided to come out and seek it. Maria shuddered thinking she
might be driven out of her hiding place by a spur-of-the-moment force from
within herself, which she couldn’t control!
She could end her suffering immediately, just by surrendering herself.
All she had to do was push the hatch up with her shoulders, and come on out.
She could do that right now, and the hunger and thirst would be over! She would
undoubtedly be fed, and there was security in that knowledge. Maria’s mind
began wandering again. What if she was on a ship that had long since run out of
supplies? What if there was no food or water on board? What if a person had no
idea when, or even if they would ever eat or drink again? Could that cause you
to panic and resort to something like cannibalism?
Maria’s mind turned unexpectedly back towards her father. What if the
sexual desire in men were as strong as her need for food and water right now? A
woman can have sexual relations with a man almost any time she might feel so
inclined. This is true even of a young girl who isn’t particularly attractive,
as Maria knew all to well. With a man, could it be different? With a very few
individual exceptions, are not his options much, much more limited?
Could it be that this makes a difference? Could having the option
always in front of you provide a sense of security, leading to better
self-control? On the other hand, not knowing if, or when your next sexual
“meal” will come, could this create panic? So a “man” may believe he has to
take advantage of every opportunity, half opportunity (or less) that
happens to come his way? May he even be constantly trying to create them – out
of thin air?
Maria mind started down yet another path. Unfortunately, there was
nothing else to do here but think. She figured she had gone about half the
length of time a person is supposed to be able to go without food or water. And
yet her craving for food and water was already incredibly strong. She thought: Will
it continue to get stronger and stronger until it does get beyond my ability to
control, long before I’m really in any danger? It certainly seemed so. Why
I can barely control it now!
Maybe that’s why father kept coming over to my bed and doing… doing the
things he did to me after mother had died… She stopped herself right there. Already, she could feel her skin
starting to crawl, and the pinpricks of pain in the tips of her fingers and
toes. No! She wasn’t going to go there, no, never again! Then she realized she
was trying to come up with excuses for her father! She wondered: Why am I
doing that?
I want to believe what he was doing was beyond his control. I wonder
why? Maria thought about it
for a long, long time. Then she realized: What I want to believe is that
despite all that’s happened, father still loves me. If what he did was beyond
his control, I can still believe he loves me. Despite all the pain,
humiliation and confusion experienced at his hand, Maria still needed her
father’s love. Even now as she was running away from him, in her mind, Maria
needed her father’s love.
But deep down she knew she didn’t have it. If she had, he would have
died before doing the things he had done to her! No matter how strong his
sexual “urge” might be, there has to be other ways to express it! Maria had
seen some of the prostitutes who frequented the taverns around the docks. The
women she knew talked about them an awful lot, and with disdain. They are
supposed to cost a lot of money, but all her father would have to do was stop
his drinking for a while, to save it up. For all she knew, that was what
he was doing, those times he disappeared for days on end.
She so wanted to be loved. Yet her mother had died on her, and her
father had turned on her. Well, I don’t want to be loved anymore anyways!
thought Maria to herself proudly. So, is this what I’ve become to father, a
cheap prostitute? Then almost as soon as she thought it, she buried her
face in a burlap bag, and cried. Her own mother and father didn’t love her, and
neither did God. She was alone, really alone.
Her thoughts became merciless. She was more than alone. Her mother had
abandoned her through death. Her father had stopped loving her, gone mad and
started using her. There was only one possible explanation. She was really,
really bad. She was evil. That’s the only reason these things could be
happening to her.
She remembered her telling her mother once that she hated her. That she
wished she might “fall down dead”. Was God listening to her wish, and had
granted it? Or was she, herself, just plain evil. She remembered hearing
stories about witches, that they could kill people. Was she a witch? Did she
kill her own mother in a fit of anger?
And then there was her father. He was fine before mother died. She
wondered: Am I the one who started father off on his mad course? I didn’t
mean to? Maybe there’s something deep down inside me that did. My evil self
keeps coming out and hurting everyone around me. I am evil, and God knows it.
She could remember believing that for the longest time now. Finally she
decided, just now, at this very moment, that it wasn’t true. She wasn’t going
to let it be true. Despite all, even God’s low opinion of her, she was a good
person. That’s why she knew she had to run away from her father. That’s what
running away from him meant to her. That’s how she could believe she was a good
person.
Her mind just wouldn’t relent. It was taking her back. Taking her back
to her thoughts of not long ago. Two years. For two years her father abused
her, and she thought she deserved it. First she had cursed her mother, so that
she died. Then she turned around and blamed it on her father, saying that he
had killed her! Maybe he did have something to do with it, she didn’t know.
What she did know is that she should have stopped it, somehow. Somehow she
should have saved her mother, but she hadn’t.
She could have lain down on her mother, when father was beating her.
Why hadn’t she done that? She was afraid, because she knew it would hurt. She
was selfish. She was bad, evil. If she had protected her mother, he might have
stopped and she would still be alive. Maybe it was she who made her
father beat her mother. Once again she thought: It was my fault; it’s all my
fault!
Not too long after mother died, he started beating her instead. And she
deserved it. She thought it was “good”, her father punishing her for being bad,
selfish, and evil. It was her due penance. She thought: Maybe father will
beat me so bad I’ll die. She expected to die. She had nothing to live for.
She was unclean, tainted for some reason. She didn’t know why. She just
was. And God knew it too. Maria wasn’t afraid of dying, just afraid of how much
it would hurt. She surrounded herself in some sort of morose depression. No
matter what she did, it was wrong. After all, wouldn't her father have treated
her better, if she deserved it? Maria had no way of measuring her reality,
nothing to hold onto, inside or out.
For a long time, Maria believed, really believed, that it hurt her
father when he beat her. After all, she did kill her mother. Wasn’t he so
different to her before her mother had died? Maybe God was using her father to
punish her. She must be evil, and needed to be beaten, over and over
again. And that wasn’t enough either. She needed to be hurt between her legs.
But the “punishment” really didn’t make me feel any better, she thought to herself. It just hurt. Oh,
God! How it hurt! It was tearing her apart. Maria realized now her first
impressions of her father’s actions just weren’t right. They may have once
been, but if so, over time beating and raping her no longer “hurt” him. He
actually seemed to enjoy it. And it wasn’t just her. He started treating
everyone else around him badly, everyone whom he came into contact with. It was
amazing to Maria that they kept letting him work at the docks, but the truth
was, many of the men who worked there were just like her father.
Maria remembered that when she realized this, she then thought she had
to “save” her father. It was her duty to turn him back to the person he had
once been, before mother had died. She realized now that the thought had kept
her with him longer than she should have stayed. Besides all her efforts, she
just wasn’t able to help him. In fact, what she did seemed to have had the
opposite effect on him. It seemed to embolden him to become even worse.
The more she put up with, the more abusive he became. It was almost
like he was pushing her to her limits, beyond her limits, to see what he could
“get away with”. Her staying with him was only helping to support his
wickedness. He seemed to be “feeding” off of their horrible relationship, and
it kept getting worse and worse.
She began to realize her father was a very sick man, so twisted inside.
He loved no one, and nothing; he was broken and twisted inside, and evil
towards everyone in insidious, maligned, and even dangerous ways. There was
nothing else she could do, for her to do, but to leave, even if it meant
her death. Staying would only continue to hurt him and her, and everyone else
around them.
Yes, her father did suffer from a type of hunger and thirst; a hunger for evil, and thirst for violence. He wanted total destruction for her, complete and total. That’s when Maria knew she had to run away. Despite what her father might think, or her friends, or even what God thought of her. She knew this is what she needed to do, to be the good person she had always wanted to be.
Chapter 8 - Pirates!
Captain Marshall slowly lowered his spyglass. "Well, they're pirates all right. But they're no ordinary pirates. I've never heard of them capturing a man-of-war before."
"Are they going to attack us?" asked Lady Farrell.
"Don't know. It's unusual for them to fly the Jolly Roger so far
away. Usually they hoist it only after getting as close as they can to an
unsuspecting ship. It's possible they aren't interested in us. Who knows what
they’re thinking with such a ship."
"What are we going to do?" asked Lady Farrell.
"Our best chance is to try and outrun them," said the Captain
with a frown. "This may be a cargo ship, but it's fast."
"Then what's the problem?"
"They're up wind from us. Either direction we turn to try and
avoid them, they can cut us off on the diagonal. It we stay on course then it
just comes to which ship is faster. If we're faster, we get away. If not, we're
caught."
Lady Farrell asked, "And if they catch us?"
The Captain looked through the glass again. Yes, he could make out the
worse. Three rows of cannon. "A single broadside from a ship like that and
we're through."
Calling up to the crow's-nest the Captain yelled, "Where's the
wind headed?"
"Twenty degrees to starboard, sir."
Then to the bridge, "Helmsman, twenty degrees to starboard!"
"Aye sir!"
"We might as well catch as much wind as we can," mumbled the
Captain. "And it will let us know if they’re following us."
Lady Farrell knew that there was little that the Captain could do at
this point. But she felt frustrated never the less. How had this happened?
“How could they have managed to capture a war ship manned with
soldiers?” asked The Lady.
Captain Marshall replied, “Doesn’t really matter now. They’ve done it
somehow, and now they’re after us. They’ve just changed course to match ours,”
said the Captain while peering through his spyglass.
He went on, “This isn’t something that happened overnight, you know.
The pirate problem has been steadily becoming worse for a long time now. They
even have functional bases, where they can take on new men, resupply their
ships and collect on ransoms. The longer this goes on, the more costly it
becomes to clean it up later. And believe me, eventually someone will have
to deal with the problem, regardless of the cost.
“An entire pirate infrastructure has developed because the people that
you constantly rub shoulders with every day have ignored what’s been going on.
It seems they would rather build overly elaborate estates with extensive
gardens for themselves and indulge in excesses of every kind, rather than
contribute to the future of civilization. That may sound a bit harsh, but
that’s the way I feel about it. You would feel the same, if you spent more time
out here.”
“I feel the same way already,” replied The Lady. “But this is water
under the bridge. What are we going to do now?”
“Assuming we can’t outrun them, you have two choices. You can stay here
and take your chances with the pirates. If they behave like ordinary pirates,
they’ll probably hold you for ransom. You’re worth something to them alive.
Ellen however, will not be so fortunate. They’ll probably do whatever they want
with her, then sell her for a slave.”
“You mean if she lives that long,” injected The Lady.
“Yes. I hate to say it, but you’re absolutely right,” agreed the
Captain.
“Sir!” yelled the Mate. “They’re gaining on us!”
“Lighten the load!” the Captain yelled back.
“Aye, Sir!” replied the Mate.
Turning back to The Lady, he continued. “We’ll save your trunks, of
course.”
“What is our other choice?” asked Lady Farrell.
“I could lower you and Ellen in the longboat. If the ship happens to
escape the pirates, we’ll come back for you. If not, you’ll have to take your
chances with the sea.”
“So you’re giving us a choice of taking our chances with either the
pirates or the open sea?” asked The Lady.
“Yes, that about sums it up,” concluded Captain Marshall.
The Mate popped his head up out of the forward hold, “Captain, a
stowaway!”
“What!” rhetorically yelled the Captain. Leaning his head back,
he started shaking it with eyes closed while a grimace appeared on his face as
if to say: This is all I need right now! Then waving over the Second
Mate he commanded, “Frank, take care of this, will you?”
Lady Farrell clung to the railing as she pondered the decision she had
to make. Funny, she had been in training all her life to make this kind of
decision in an instant. And yet training and reality were turning out to be two
very different things.
The pirate ship was still a considerable distance away. Maybe she
wouldn’t have to make a decision at all. No, that was foolish. Preparations
needed to be made, especially if she chose the sea. There was no time to waste.
If Ellen and her were captured, they no doubt would be separated. It
was somewhat odd, how Ellen and her were alike in almost every way, but one.
And that difference, that social difference, held sway over their fates even
here. Here they were, in the middle of the ocean and something as abstract as
social standing could determine what a boatload of lawless pirates would do!
Lady Farrell thought again of Ellen, and what the pirates might, no, would
do to her. It was unthinkable. It was frustrating to The Lady, that though
identical as they were, human society should value them so differently. No,
there was no decision to be made here. There really was only one option.
“We’ll take our chances with the sea,” declared Lady Farrell.
The Captain started making preparations immediately. “We’ll supply you
with enough food and water for weeks, just in case we get separated for very
long.”
Ellen, who had been standing off to the side, marveled about how upbeat
and positive the Captain was. Especially how he had said that last phrase,
“just in case we get separated”. It was remarkable, the concern he was showing
for The Lady and herself, in the face of his own death. Ellen felt the feeling
swelling even larger inside her.
Now was not the time to dwell on that. Instead, she asked Captain
Marshall, “Could the ship be covertly after The Lady, only pretending to be
pirates? I’m sure you know there was some opposition to her marriage in the
Court.”
Captain Marshall
answered, “I doubt it, to send a man-of-war to dispose of a single individual?
That kind of overkill simply isn’t needed here. There are much more economical
ways to assassinate a single person. It might sound clever disguising the act
as one of piracy, but it wouldn’t work out that way. There are too many people
involved. Such a blatant affront would be traced right back to the Queen, and
she would never allow that. Besides, from what I understand she favored
the marriage.” Looking through his spyglass again the Captain said, “She’s
French built.” Then turning back to Ellen he continued, “Why would the French
care who The Lady marries? No, the men pursuing us must be pirates, plain and
simple.”
Ellen turned to her life long friend and said, “Up until now, I’ve been
content to let you handle this matter. After all, it’s your place to deal with
such things. But please, don’t be doing this for me. Think of yourself! The
pirates probably won’t hurt you. They’ll just put you off at one of their bases
and send word to your father. And he’ll do everything in his power to ransom
you back.”
“My dear Ellen,” answered The Lady. “I am doing this for me.” Then, she softly stroked Ellen’s cheek. “For how could I live without you, my precious friend? I need you!”
Chapter 9 - The “Battle”
Maria had been taken below deck, to the galley. She was given some real food, which she quickly ate and drank. Oh, how good it all tasted! She felt odd to be doing this now, eating and enjoying her meal just as the ship was about to be attacked by the pirates!
Pirates! She certainly had never considered that in her plan to
escape from her father! She thought: Wouldn’t it be my luck though, for
something like this to happen to me? I should have known. First Mother dies,
then father goes mad, and now pirates!
The longboat was ready, hanging off the side of the ship by two ropes.
The Lady had removed a small box from one of her trunks, and then had the Mate
throw them overboard, with the rest of the cargo.
“Pity,” said the Captain. “Throwing this much cargo overboard usually
gets the pirates off our back. They stop to pick it up, and we go on our merry
way. I’m sure what’s in those trunks of yours is worth a pretty penny or two.”
“But not this time,” said The Lady.
“No. They don’t seem to be interested. They must be after the ship
itself, but that doesn’t make any sense either. With a ship like the one they
already have, why would they want this? Well, I suppose it doesn’t matter now.
It’s time for you and Ellen to get into the boat.”
Frank, the second mate was just bringing Maria back up on deck. “What
about the stowaway?” he yelled.
“What about him?” asked the Captain as he yelled back.
“He is a girl!” pointed out Frank as he brought her over to
them.
“Oh!” the Captain exclaimed. “Lady Farrell, would you and Ellen mind
some company?”
“Not at all. We would love to have, what’s your name dear?” asked Lady
Farrell.
“Maria.”
“We would love to have Maria come with us,” graciously offered The
Lady.
It was clear the Captain was very clever in his plan to let the women slip
away in the longboat. He had not hung it off the side until the pirate ship was
off the rear quarter, about 45 degrees to his ship. Then he hung it off the
opposite side towards the bow, keeping his ship’s hull between the two.
The pirate ship was nearly broadside now, but the longboat had still
not been lowered all the way to the sea. The three women remained in the boat,
anxiously waiting. The Captain motioned for them to get down, to lie down in
the bottom of the boat. Then the sailors manning the ropes released it into the
water. Then they just tossed the loose ropes overboard and immediately
scrambled to their battle stations.
It was all so surreal. The Lady could see the masts and the towering
side of the ship. It looked so huge and powerful from this angle. She could
hear the sounds, actually quite loud, of the water rushing past the great ship,
the sound of the masts creaking and groaning and the ropes stretching as
Captain Marshall forced every bit of speed out of her as he possibly could.
Their little boat grazed the side of the great ship a couple of times,
but it just pushed them aside. Then they quickly cleared the stern. The Lady
marveled how fast the two ships were actually traveling. They were in view of
the pirates now, but hopefully they would see nothing but an empty longboat
from their angle. She could see the masts of the other ship, but not it’s deck.
And the crow’s-nest was unmanned, which was typical of a ship about to go into
battle. Hopefully, all the pirates would see was another frantic attempt to
“lighten” the ship, by a not too smart captain.
The Lady continued watching the ships. The sounds of their movement
dropped off rapidly as they sped away. Captain Marshall was changing course,
veering sharply away from the pirates at the last moment, no doubt in a
last-ditch attempt to avoid a broadside. But the pirates were ready for it.
They knew he could only turn so far, or he would lose the wind. At best, all he
did was buy a few more minutes.
Then there was the horrible thunder of many, many cannons and guns, and
the air filled with smoke. Ellen and The Lady loosed the ropes used to lower
the longboat and tossed them overboard, so they wouldn’t drag in the water.
They tried to keep down as much as possible, as the pirates still might be able
to see them, especially if they looked through a glass. It was very unlikely
with the battle now raging, that they would take any notice of them at all,
still, it never hurt to play it safe.
The two companions manned the oars and started rowing away, each one
struggling with their own oar. Maria sat at the stern with the rudder, trying
to take everything in. The two battling ships continued moving away, rapidly.
It wasn’t the women’s rowing that distanced them so quickly, but the speed of
the two great ships. The longboat was only barely plodding along by comparison.
The smoke continued to bellow from the two ships’ cannons. It became
impossible to see the battle going on. It could certainly be heard though. Oh
God, how it could be heard! Just as it was impossible to see, it was impossible
not to hear or feel it.
After a while, Lady Farrell began to observe her two companions. Ellen
looked to be in shock as she contemplated what the fate of her Harlan would be.
Maria was still sitting in the stern with her arm draped over the tiller,
resting so heavily on it that it seemed to be the only thing holding her up.
With her eyes and mouth wide open, she appeared to be in shock as well.
The Lady instinctively knew she needed to do something to cheer up her
companions. But the truth was, she was in shock as well. They had stopped
rowing, and she didn’t even remember having quit. Time itself seemed to have
stopped.
The horrible cannon fire no longer filled the air. The Lady waited for
another volley, but it never came. The Captain was right. All it took was a
single broadside. A broadside from three rows of cannon! What could be expected
to survive that?
Then she heard some small arms fire, rather sporadically. Silence then
a volley of small arms, and then silence again. It went on and off like that
for some time. And there was something else. What was that? Laughter? It was
like the sound of men laughing, from far away, coming across the water.
Silence, then a volley, then laughter, then silence, over and over again. And
finally, nothing but silence.
The smoke was finally beginning to dissipate. It was late afternoon,
but there were still a few hours of light left. The sun was off to the left.
The three women started to lean forward (as if that would make any difference)
trying to peer through the smoke.
Then there it was, a ship, too far away to tell which one it was. They
kept looking, trying to make out the other ship. By now the smoke was gone, but
there was still only one ship. Their eyes kept searching and searching. There
was only one ship, and it was getting smaller.
Lady Farrell spoke with a crack in her voice, “Lets look for
survivors.”
Ellen sprang into action, with hope still in her heart. Maria helped
with the tiller and they quickly turned the boat around and headed towards the
now vanishing ship.
It must have taken a couple of hours to reach the place where the
battle had been. The ship they were following was now nothing more than a dot
on the horizon. They knew they were at the right place. You could tell from the
wreckage floating in the water.
Yet nothing greeted them but silence. Wreckage and silence. There
weren’t any men yelling for help, or even any bodies of drowned sailors. What
had happened here?
“I don’t understand,” said The Lady. “This must be the place. Look at
all the wreckage. But there’s nobody here.”
“Maybe they boarded the ship before they sank it and took prisoners!”
injected Ellen with panic in her voice.
The Lady realized how unlikely it was for pirates to take prisoners.
Nevertheless, she responded with the word, “Perhaps.”
Then they began to look at the wreckage closely. There was a box here,
and a piece of planking there. Just the type of things you would expect to see
a man clinging to, whether dead or alive. Something was wrong. There were holes
in the wood of the boxes and planking. They looked like bullet holes. The wood
had been shot full of holes! And there was, what was that red…
Suddenly, Ellen had a vision of Captain Marshall. She could see him
under the water. He was looking up and could see the floating wreckage. But
when he surfaced to grab hold, a hail of bullets rained down on him!
He was back under the water again. He had been hit, but not bad. He was
safe for the moment, but soon he would have to go up again for air. There was
blood floating in the water. His blood.
He could see other men under the water just like he was. And they
weren’t just any men. They were his crew, his friends. One of them was going up
for air and the shots rained down. Then another one, and another.
Finally, it was his turn. And still the shots rang out…
Lady Farrell saw a look on Ellen’s face that she had never seen on
anyone’s face before in her life. Ellen sat there with her back as straight as
a board, and that horrible look. Her eyes were frantically twitching around
from here to there, looking at the wreckage. Her hand flew up to her face, but
it was to no avail. The vomit bolted out between her fingers.
The Lady helped redirect Ellen’s uncontrollable vomiting over the side
of their little boat. Poor Ellen, she thought to herself: The hopes
she had. The hopes I had helped place in her mind. The hopes she was still
clinging to, up until just a few moments ago. They were now all broken to
pieces. Broken to pieces. Just as the men had been shot to pieces. Shot to
pieces so that even the air trapped in their lungs couldn’t keep them afloat.
Battle. What battle? There had been no battle here. This hadn’t been a
battle at all. It had been a slaughter. The whole episode had become clear to
Lady Farrell. This had been nothing more than a morbid target practice exercise
for the pirates. They hadn’t been interested in the merchant ship, or it’s
cargo, or it’s crew. All they wanted to do was to flex their newfound muscle,
the man-of-war, “Let’s see what it can do, what we can do!”
The Captain had been right. The government had failed. A problem that
could have once been easily and economically solved was now a monster out of
control. Politicians and bureaucrats had sat around and done nothing but serve
themselves, while civilization itself had cracked!
And the pirates knew it. They were now in a position where they didn’t have to fear anything. They could pick away at civilization as it crumbles, and get everything they ever wanted. And why shouldn’t they? Isn’t that what the “noblemen” themselves had been doing, for all these years?
Chapter 10 - Alone at Sea
Ellen hadn’t said anything. Her heart hurt so much. She didn’t think she could say anything, even if she tried. It hurt too much even to move her mouth. She knew The Lady thought she was in shock, and she probably was. But her mind was still working. It was learning something new.
Just as her mind had once learned that there seemed to be no limit to
the amount of good that can happen to you in a single day, it was now learning
a new truth. And it was a terrible, horrible and frightening truth. There
seemed to be no limit to the amount of bad that could happen to a person. No
limit to the amount of happiness or pain. No limit to good or evil.
That wonderful feeling she had once felt was gone. Would the feeling
ever return? It seemed like so long ago when she last felt it, standing beside
the Captain on the deck of his ship. Had that really happened to her, or had
she just imagined it? Her rational mind knew in reality, very little time had
passed since then. With what had just happened, it seemed like an eternity ago.
The feeling was gone, and it had been replaced by something else. Something
evil.
She knew that she should cry, but it hurt too much even to cry. Maybe
she would cry eventually. It wouldn’t help. How could it help? How could it
possibly undo what the pirates had done to her dear, dear Harlan?
How could men be so cruel? “Cruel” didn’t seem to be the right word.
The words “evil” and “wicked” didn’t seem to work either. There didn’t even
seem to be a word to describe what the pirates had done.
How could things like this be allowed to happen? The words “Cruel” or
“evil” or “wicked” could apply to the people who let things get so bad, so
things like this could happen. But the words seemed too weak to describe the
men who actually do them.
Maria spoke, “What are we going to do now?”
“Well, I think Ellen needs a break. Help me move her to the stern,”
replied The Lady.
Maria and Lady Farrell helped coax the almost catatonic Ellen over to
the stern, putting the tiller under her arm. Maria sat down in Ellen’s place
and they both started rowing. Lady Farrell was surprised how strong she was.
She had started this merely as an exercise, to give them all something to do.
But she found that Maria could pull her own at the oars.
The sun was beginning to set. With the opportunity now present, Lady
Farrell thought it would be good to put as much distance between them and the
disaster as possible. With night closing in they needed to get away, especially
Ellen.
Maria spoke again, “Were going north. Shouldn’t we be heading east?
Land is to the East, isn’t it?”
“Yes, dear. We’re off the coast of Spain. In fact, we’re way off
the coast of Spain. Captain Marshall was giving it a wide berth, to keep from
running into any Spanish Galleons. If we run into one of them, or land in
Spain, our fate won’t be much different than if we had been captured by the
pirates.”
“Oh,” responded Maria. “So what’s your plan?”
“We’ll head North for two or three weeks, and then turn East. That
should put us off the coast of Ireland. And if we miss it, we should eventually
run into the English mainland.”
“Three weeks! I can’t row for three weeks, even switching off with
Ellen!” protested Maria.
“Don’t worry about that. This boat has a collapsible mast and a sail.
We’ll put it up in the morning. Even now, we have a good wind. But we’ll need
the light to do everything we need to, in order to get it up. So for now, we
row.”
“Oh, that’s better... Ireland? I thought the Irish didn’t like us
either. Would it be safe to land there?”
“You’re right about that, our relations with the Irish aren’t very
good. But they are a lot better than with Spain. We’ll probably be rudely
overcharged for passage, but we should be able to get home safely.”
The Lady continued, “By the way Maria, I don’t think we’ve been
formally introduced. My name is Lady Eileen Farrell, but you can call me Lady.
Everybody does. And you are Maria…”
“Maria, just Maria.”
“Oh, come now girl, don’t you have a sir name?”
“Yes, but I don’t want to tell it to you. If you know it, you might
make me go back home, when we get back to England.”
“So, now we come to the topic of why you were stowing away on the ship.
Running away from home, are we? And I thought you were just a common
adventuress. Would you like to tell me about it?”
“You don’t understand. You can’t understand. Nobody can understand,”
retorted Maria with stress on her face, and tears in her eyes.
The Lady decided to let it drop. With Ellen not speaking, it would be a
dismal state of affairs if Maria stopped as well. So she decided to change the
subject. “How did you know we are heading north?” she asked.
Maria replied, “Because the setting sun is to our left, the way we are
headed. The sun always sets in the West. That makes the East to our right, and
South there behind us.” Maria proudly pointed out the cardinal points.
“Very good Maria,” commended The Lady, impressed with the young girl’s
understanding of direction. “But it will be dark soon. How will we know where
we’re going then?”
Maria said, “I know that the sailors use the stars at night, if they
can see them. I don’t know how it works though. If they can’t see them, they
use a compass.”
“When it gets dark enough, I’ll show you how it works,” said The Lady.
They continued rowing in silence for a while. Maria’s thoughts began to
crowd in on her again, one more time. She started to go over the reasons why
she had run away, eventually leaving her in this little boat in the middle of a
vast ocean with only two other women.
It seemed right in a way. It seemed like this is the sort of thing that
should happen to a person like her. But it didn’t seem right for the two
ladies. Surely, they deserved better. Was it her own bad luck that was dragging
them down with her?
Maria knew that she had to get away from her father. There was
no other choice, especially with time running out for her. Pretty soon, she
would be able to have a baby. Then what would people think? Would they blame
her father? Maybe a little, but they would blame her more. When they found out
how long things had been going on, they would really blame her.
Would they even believe that her father was the father?
No. She might as well claim that the father was a priest! Someone would
remember seeing her with the street boys. They would think that she was lying
to protect one of them. They would blame her for everything. Ha! Maria
said to herself. It seemed kind of funny, in an absurd sort of way.
Maria remembered how her thoughts had plagued her while she was in the
hold of the ship, she didn’t want that to happen again. So she said, “Why were
you on the ship? Where were you and Ellen going… I mean before?”
“We were going to Venice to get married.”
“You were going to marry Ellen?”
“No my dear!” Then The Lady stopped and thought about what she had just
absentmindedly said. Maria was right! She had said that they were going to be
married. It just went to show how much Ellen was a part of her life, a part of her,
so that she couldn’t even think of herself apart from her. Was this why she had
been trying to kindle a romance between Ellen and the Captain? Was this her way
of “marrying” Ellen?
The thought was so absurd that she laughed out loud. “No, I was on my
way to marry Count Walter Marcel, a perfectly wonderful man.”
“Then what about Ellen. Who was she going to marry?”
The Lady began to realize just how sharp this little girl’s mind was.
So she said, “I’m sorry my dear. I’ve misled you. What I meant to say was that
I’m to be married in Venice. That is, if we can ever get there. You see, it’s
hard for me to think of myself without Ellen. We’ve been together for so long,
the very best of friends.” She wondered what Ellen thought of this
conversation, but there was no way to tell. Ellen was sitting in the darkness
now.
“Well,” said The Lady. “I can see it’s dark enough to show you the
North Star now. You see this constellation there?” The Lady pointed to a
position in the sky. “It looks like a water dipper. You see the bucket over
there, and the handle there?”
“Yes, I see it,” said Maria.
“It’s called Ursa Major, or The Great Bear. Some people think it looks
like a bear. It looks more like a dipper to me.”
“Isn’t there a little dipper too?” asked Maria.
“Yes. If you follow the first two stars there, the ones opposite the
handle and go up, they point you to the end of the handle of the Ursa Minor,
The Little Bear or more commonly called, The Little Dipper.”
Maria paused for a while. Then she said, “I see it! It doesn’t look as
much like a dipper as the other one. The handle is bent wrong, but I see it.”
“That star at the tip of the handle, the one that the first two stars
of The Big Dipper point to, that’s Polaris or the North Star. It’s the star the
sailors use to navigate at night. It always points north.”
“Like a compass?” asked Maria.
“Better than a compass. A compass doesn’t always point directly north.
Sometimes it’s off by a few degrees, or even more. It depends on where you are
in the world. But Polaris always points directly north.”
“Always?” asked Maria.
“Yes, my dear. Always. That is if you can see it. Sailors prefer to use
the North Star to navigate at night. It’s their friend. But they can’t always
see it. If it’s cloudy or foggy, they have to rely on a compass.”
“We’re still heading north, aren’t we?” posed Maria.
“How can you tell?” asked The Lady.
“Because were heading towards the North Star!” proudly exclaimed Maria.
“That’s right!” she commended. “And if we wanted to head towards the
east, where would the North Star be?”
Maria thought for a moment. Then she said, “To our right… no, left. If
we were heading east, it would be on our left.”
“Very good Maria. You see, that’s all there is to it. Just like you
used the sun to determine where West was during sunset, you can use Polaris to
determine where north is. And you don’t have to wait for a particular time of
the night. If you can see it, that is north. And once you know where one
of the four cardinal points are, you know where all of them are.”
Maria and The Lady rowed most of the night. Then they decided to get a
little rest before going further. When they awoke in the morning they put up
the mast and hung the sail. Ellen seemed a little better, she helped a bit with
the work, but she didn’t say anything.
It seemed the sail wasn’t much. It could move the boat in a good wind,
but not much faster than they could row. And since the boat didn’t have much of
a keel, they could pretty much only go in the direction the wind was blowing.
The sail did provide some shade from the sun though. And right now there was a
good southerly wind that saved them from rowing most of the time. If the wind
held, it looked like The Lady’s plan would work.
Ellen’s mind
was still whirling from her loss. She went back to the point in her life just
before she met The Lady. Both her parents had abandoned her to her grandmother,
who raised her. Ellen really didn’t remember her parents.
Her grandmother had done a good job raising her. Even though she was
old and her health was failing, Ellen loved her dearly. When the opportunity
arose for her to go live with The Lady, her grandmother made a sharp break with
her, saying she was too old to take care of a child anymore. Ellen was a burden
to her, she had said, and she didn’t want her around anymore.
Ellen was shocked! As she had seen it, she and her grandmother had
always been such great friends. Ellen would have done anything for her
grandmother. And now that very person was rejecting her! She couldn’t believe
it, but her grandmother insisted she wasn’t welcome anymore and made Ellen
leave.
She was deeply hurt when she went off to live with The Lady. It hurt
her so much that she began to hate her grandmother, because she had rejected
her. And it helped a little. It helped her forget about her life with her
grandmother, and the love that she once had for her. Ellen never went back
there again, not even to visit.
Some years later, Ellen realized what her grandmother had really done.
Despite their disastrous parting, her grandmother loved her deeply. She loved
her so much that when the chance of a better life came to Ellen, her
grandmother had made the decision for her. Even though she loved Ellen and needed
her in her old age, she only had Ellen’s future in mind.
By the time Ellen figured this out, her grandmother was gone. She
wished she could have thanked her grandmother for what she had done before she
died, but it was too late. Even realizing all this, Ellen still didn’t love her
as she once had. Those feelings never did return. The only way she still loved
her grandmother, was from an intellectual point of view.
Is that what
she should do about her love for Captain Marshall? Should she try to hate him,
hoping the pain of her loss will go away? Deep down, Ellen knew it wouldn’t
work. As a child she could believe it, but as an adult she doubted it. There
was no way to trick her mind into thinking her dear Harlan had done something
against her. Even if she could, she didn’t want to. She wanted to remember him
as he was. That wonderful man she had fallen in love with. If she couldn’t love
him, maybe she could still love his memory.
It was funny, in a macabre sort of way. She had no way of knowing if
things between her and Harlan would have worked out anyway. Maybe he would have
rejected her. And maybe she could have learned to hate him then. But she
doubted it. She had learned too much about love from The Lady, even from her
grandmother.
Even if Harlan had rejected her, she would have continued to
love him anyway, even as she loves him now. She didn’t want to do anything but love
that wonderful man, and yet, there was no way she could be with him. There was
no way she could have those feelings again, except maybe in her dreams. In the
wild illogic of dreams, maybe she could still believe that Harlan was alive.
And believe they were in love with each other, together once again, as they had
been on the ship’s railing.
At least she still had The Lady. Yet even if they survived, she
wouldn’t have her much longer. Things would never again be as they had once
been. And if they didn’t survive, they would die together. She wondered which
one would be better for her, for them to live or die?
Over the next few days, Ellen started to slowly come back. She knew she still loved Harlan and would probably do so for the rest of her life. She may never be truly happy again, but she could make someone else happy. So that is what she decided to do. She would make The Lady happy, just as she had always done. She would make The Lady happy, even if she had to do it from afar.
Chapter 11 - The Universe
The three
women had been at sea in their little boat for only a few days. Their good
southerly wind continued to persist and the sail was working well, pushing them
northward. They spent little time rowing, but this turned out to be a mixed
blessing. It left them with little to do, and morale was already beginning to
wane.
The Lady shared the contents of her little box with the other women
several times. It contained her letters from Count Marcel. They read them
together, over and over again. Ellen had started talking a bit, but was still
severely depressed. The Lady had found a compass stashed along with the
supplies (no doubt at Captain Marshall’s orders) and made a hullabaloo over it.
Their “universe” had become so small. All it contained was the three women,
the longboat and it’s meager supplies, the sky above, and the endless miles of
open sea all around. Unless they happened to have a most fortunate encounter
with another vessel, this is all they would have for quite some time.
They needed more. And The Lady felt that it was her responsibility to
provide it. On the clear nights, they continued to look up at the stars. Maria
knew all the constellations by heart now, as well as most of the planets.
On one such night, Maria asked, “What really are the stars?”
“That’s a good question,” replied The Lady. Then she thought to
herself: Maybe that’s what’s needed here, something to occupy the mind.
Something to while away the hours. Something that will be interesting to Maria,
and familiar to Ellen. Something to keep Maria’s spirits up, and bring Ellen’s
spirit back.
She continued, “Aristotle, the greatest of the ancient Greek
philosophers taught us the vault of the sky is like a great sphere, a hollow
ball. We and everything else in the material world are inside the sphere, and
heaven is outside it. So the stars are merely the light from heaven shining
through little pinholes in the celestial sphere. They thought the entire thing
revolves once every day, and the axis it revolves around is where Polaris is
located. That is why all the other stars move, but Polaris always stays in the
same place. We have believed this for at least two thousand years. The only
difference is that now we know the celestial sphere doesn’t rotate. It’s the
Earth’s rotation which makes it appear that the stars move.”
Maria thought about this for a bit. Then she asked, “What about the
planets? What are they?”
“Now, that’s where things start to get interesting. The planets don’t
move the same as the stars. In Greek, the word “planet” actually means
“wanderer”. Aristotle taught that the planets were relatively small bodies
attached to gigantic transparent crystalline spheres. These spheres are so
perfectly clear that we can’t see them. Each planet is attached to its own
sphere; each one being nested one within the other and turning at different
speeds.
“The Earth was at the center of all the spheres, and it was stationary.
That is, it didn’t move. This is the order they put the spheres in, working our
way out from the Earth. First comes the sphere of the moon, then Mercury,
Venus, the sun, Mars, Jupiter and Saturn.
“They even thought that the turning of the spheres, one within the
other, produced vibrations that they called ‘the music of the spheres’. They
said you couldn’t hear this music from the Earth, only in heaven. It was all a
very neat concept. Its only problem appears to have been this; it had
absolutely nothing at all to do with reality!”
“Does anyone still believe in it?” asked Maria.
“A few still do I suppose, but most don’t. The problem is that the
planets don’t move exactly the way they would if they were attached to the
spheres. As more and more observations were made, it became apparent that some
of the planets actually stopped and started moving backwards against the
background of the stars. Then they stopped again and started moving forward
once more. This rather unusual apparent movement is actually caused by the
Earth’s own orbit around the sun.
“Nevertheless, people didn’t give up on Aristotle’s concept of the
universe. They still wanted to believe in what he had taught. So they started
making adjustments to his universe. They added an extra sphere for each of the
planets. They said that the planet wasn’t directly attached to its sphere. It
was attached to a smaller invisible sphere, which in turn was attached to the
original one. And since the smaller one rotated as well, sometimes the planet
on the little sphere would be moving in the same direction as the large sphere,
and sometimes in an opposite direction. When it moved in the opposite direction
is what made the planet move backwards against the stars.
“As more accurate observations were made of the planets, they kept
having to add more and more spheres, to compensate for things like their
elliptical rather than circular orbits. Eventually there were over 1,000
spheres! Still, they didn’t give up on the concept! Trying to figure out where
just one of the planets would be at some time in the future became incredibly
time consuming, requiring hundreds of calculations. The system became so
complex that only a few people in the world actually understood it. I wonder
what that ‘music’ would have sounded like, with all those spheres grinding away
against each other!
“Eventually, a little less than 200 years ago in the 16th
century, a man came along by the name of Nicolaus Copernicus and pointed out
that celestial calculations could be greatly simplified by making the sun the
center of the universe, instead of the Earth. And even he didn’t say he
believed that was the way things really were. He merely pointed it out as a
scientific curiosity, and a mathematical shortcut.”
“Why did he do that?” asked Maria. “Everybody knows that the sun is the
center of the universe! Even the street boys know that!”
“Well, they didn’t at that time. The old model of the universe had been
around a long time. There was more involved than just having to give up on what
Aristotle said. The idea that the sun was the center of the universe wasn’t
new. The Greek astronomer Aristarchus had proposed it nearly two thousand years
before Copernicus. And Pythagoras asserted that the Earth was spherical
and rotated on its axis over a thousand years ago. They had pretty much worked
out the universe, as we understand it today. So, why didn’t people believe
them?”
“People used to believe that the Earth was flat, didn’t they?”
questioned Maria.
“Yes, they did. And many continued to believe that, up until Ferdinand
Magellan sailed around the world and proved it to be round, only about two
hundred years ago now. Many sailors were terrified that if they sailed too far
out into the ocean, they would quite literally fall off the edge of the world!
“Over the years up until then, certain concepts had developed that
everybody began to think were indisputable. They were considered to be ‘self
evident’. In other words, you were thought to be a fool if you didn’t believe
them! Even the clergy taught the ideas, as if they were reality. Let me
summarize them as follows:
#1). The Earth is at the center of the universe. Everything else, even heaven
itself, revolves around it.
#2). Everything above the sphere of the moon is perfect, and everything
below it is imperfect.
#3). All heavenly objects move in perfectly circular orbits.
“Rule number one: Putting the Earth at the center of the
universe made people feel important. We are the most intelligent and powerful
of God’s creatures on Earth. So if the Earth is the center of the universe, it
naturally follows that we are the most important creatures out of all God’s
creation. Most people wanted to believe that and refused to entertain any other
possibility.
“Rule number two: Heaven is outside the last celestial sphere
and is of course considered to be perfect. The Earth was at the center of the
universe, and is known to be imperfect. So somewhere between Heaven and Earth,
a transition from perfection to imperfection needed to be made. The moon is
obviously imperfect, as can be seen by the naked eye. And it was on the sphere
closest to the Earth. So it was considered imperfect as well. Nobody could see
any imperfections on the other heavenly bodies. So the ancients decided that
everything above the orb of the moon ought to be perfect. And over time, this
began to be taught as fact. How very ‘short-sighted’ that turned out to be!
“Rule number three: Since all the objects in the sky above the
orb of the moon were considered to be perfect, they had to move in circles. The
circle was considered to be the most perfect of all shapes. And I suppose, as
all the spheres had to nest one within the other and yet freely rotate, this
was the only shape that would work anyway. So it was felt that all the heavenly
bodies, even the moon, had to move in perfect circles.
“Over time, these rules became ingrained in the thinking and religion
of virtually all the people in society. To even question them was considered
heresy and you could quite literally be burned at the stake, if you didn’t
agree with them. There were many other things believed to be fact that simply
were not true, but these are the main ones concerning the physical structure of
the Universe.
“Because of this resistance to different ideas, Copernicus was smart
enough not to publish his idea about the sun being at the center of the
Universe until his death, near the middle of the 16th century. He had completed
the work over a decade before that, but decided not to publish it until he was
close to his death. That way if the people didn’t like it, there would be
little they could do to him at that point.
“Later, a man by the name of Johannes Kepler refined the Copernican
system and did away with the circular orbits, replacing them with ellipses.
This idea violates Rule #3, but like Copernicus, Kepler didn’t force the issue.
However, his work was picked up by others and used later on.
“After that, a man called Galileo Galilei came along with his telescope
and immediately proved rule #1 and rule #2 to be wrong, just as Magellan
had proved the Earth to be round. And he did not veil what he was doing, like
Copernicus and Kepler. He argued with everyone including, unfortunately, the
various religious leaders of his day that these were undeniable facts. It’s
quite interesting to read some of those conversations, which have been
preserved in letters to and from various people.
“I remember two of them distinctly. The first involved rule #1. Galileo
discovered the moons of Jupiter with his telescope and showed that they revolve
around Jupiter and not the Earth. Rule #1 was destroyed because everything was
supposed to revolve around the Earth.
“Then he turned his telescope to the sun and found spots on it. This
broke rule #2. The sun wasn’t supposed to have spots. It was above the sphere
of the moon, and must therefore be perfect. The dogma was that the sun
‘is a perfect and all lucid body’.
“I remember page after page of arguments he had with a religious
leader, point and counter point on this issue. The religionist argued that the
spots Galileo was seeing couldn’t be on the sun. He must be seeing things on or
below the orb of the moon, which only looked like they were on the sun because
they just happened to be in the line of sight.
“Galileo made repeated observations and drawings, showing the same spot
going around the limb of the sun and disappearing, only to reappear later on
the other side. He calculated the speed at which the sun rotates, and predicted
when spots would disappear and reappear with accuracy. Still, I don’t think
this ever convinced that one particular person.
“What he did do was create a lot of trouble for himself and
others, some of whom were (fortunately) already dead at the time. His works
became censored by the Church, as well as those of Copernicus, which up until
that time had no stigma attached to them, for nearly a hundred years! The
Church also persecuted Kepler, who was alive during Galileo’s time, but died
before him. So it was Galileo who received the brunt of their ire.
“To save himself from execution he had to recant several of his
assertions. Even with that, he remained under house arrest for the rest of his
life, having trusted friends and visitors smuggle out anything he happened to
be working on for publication after his death.”
Maria interrupted, “So if Aristotle was wrong about the three rules,
and wrong about the invisible spheres, how do we know he was right about the
last sphere, about the stars? Are they really light from heaven shining
through pinholes?”
Ellen speaking up for the first time said, “She’s got you there.”
So The Lady said, “You’re right. We don’t know if this is what they
really are. Yet we don’t know what else they could be. Maybe some day we will.
In the meantime, we stick to what we always believed to be true, even though a
lot of it has turned out to be wrong.”
Ellen added, “At least one of the philosophers has speculated that
there is no vault of stars or celestial sphere at all. That the stars are
randomly spread out in space, some being closer and some being further away. If
this were true, then even the closest ones would have to be extremely far away
from us, since there is no apparent shift in their positions with each other as
the Earth revolves around the sun, as there is with the planets. It’s pure
speculation. There are no facts to support this view. The distances involved
are so incredible, it’s easier to believe in the vault of stars.”
Feeling frustrated Maria said, “You haven’t answered my question. All I
wanted to know is what the stars are. And the answer you’ve given me is; you
don’t know!”
“Yes, that’s true. You also asked about the planets. We may not be able
to tell you what the stars are, but we can tell you a lot about the planets.
However, that will have to wait for another evening.”
The Lady was proud of herself. She had engaged Maria, and even gotten a
response from Ellen. This avenue of discussion was working well and would boost
their morale. Their tiny little universe no longer seemed quite so small.
The days rolled on. On board was a “commode”, which was little more
then a bucket. It was embarrassing for them to have to relieve themselves in
front of the others. They made light of it, joking around about whose turn it
was to empty it. Nevertheless, it was a constant reminder of the frailty of
their corporeal existence.
The ladies’ clothing was becoming a real burden. They removed the stays
from their corsets, cutting them out with a knife. Their eyes turned red and
hurt. And their lips began to chap badly and bleed. The Lady found some salve
in the supplies, that Captain Marshall had no doubt included for protection
from the sunlight. It had a very unpleasant smell to it though. She had packed
some real balm in with her luggage, but in their haste to lighten the ship, it
had been thrown overboard along with a number of other things they could really
use right now.
Each night as the stars appeared, they would resume their discussions
about the universe. Maria was enthralled and Ellen began to participate more
and more.
“You were going to tell me about the planets,” said Maria.
“Ah yes. As you recall, the ancients thought the planets were just
objects of some sort attached in some manner to a whole host of crystalline
spheres. They needed the spheres to hold the planets up. Otherwise, there would
be nothing to keep them from falling to Earth.
“In the same year that Galileo died, a man by the name of Isaac Newton
was born. I think it was the year 1642. He’s still alive, you know. Ellen and I
have visited with him a number of times at the Queen’s court. He can often be
seen there. I’m not sure exactly what he does actually, something to do with
the treasury I think. He is rather a kooky old man actually…” The Lady drifted
for a moment in thought.
Lady Farrell continued, “Anyway, Newton used Copernicus’s idea that the
sun is the center of the universe along with Kepler’s idea of elliptical
orbits. And he co-invented an advanced form of mathematics called calculus with
The Baron Gottfried Wilhelm von Leibnitz. The notation we use for calculus
today is actually that of Leibnitz. It was Newton who came up with the three
laws of universal gravitation, and a formula to calculate the force of gravity
itself. By combining all these things, he was able to prove that the planets
moved around the sun in a precise mathematical fashion.
“Newton has said, ‘If I have seen farther than other men, it is because
I have stood upon the shoulders of giants.’ Some of the ‘giants’ he was
referring to here must have been Copernicus, Kepler and Galileo. It seems that
he was not including Leibnitz, whom he has always accused of plagiarism.
So anyways, Newton’s three laws of universal gravitation are as follows:
Law Number 1: An
object in motion will remain in motion unless acted upon by an external force.
This means that an object moving in a straight line will continue moving in a
straight line, unless acted on by an outside force. Also, an object at rest
will stay at rest.
Law Number 2: Force
will cause a change in the motion of an object. The change in motion depends on
the amount of force and the mass (weight) of the object. There is a formula for
this: F=ma (force equals mass times acceleration).
Law Number 3: For
every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.
“And,” The Lady went on, quite enjoying herself, “the equation is:
Force equals the Universal Gravitational Constant times the weight of the first
object (like the sun) times the weight of the second object (like a planet)
times the inverse of the square of the distance between them (divided by the
distance between the two times itself). F=G(m1·m2)/d·d
“The Universal Gravitational Constant is just a fixed number, a very
small number, whose value is determined experimentally. So if you know what
that value is, and you know the weight of two objects and the distance between
them, then you can directly calculate the force of gravity acting between
them.”
Encouraged, Ellen spoke up to say, “Newton found that the planets are
indeed attracted to the sun and would fall down if it wasn’t for one thing;
they are also traveling with speed perpendicular to the direction that they
want to fall. And the speed is such for each moment in time that a planet falls
towards the sun, it has also moved perpendicular to that direction a certain
amount. When you add those two movements together, you find that the planet has
moved away from the sun by the same exact amount as it has fallen towards it.
“Now keep in mind, this is an over simplification of course,” said
Ellen. “We’re talking about perfectly circular orbits. And we know from Kepler
that the planets don’t really move that way. But Newton’s universal laws would
apply here, as well. It’s simply that the planets move a little closer and a little
farther away in the same orbit, each time they travel around the sun. And this
causes them to speed up or slow down at the same time. These things balance
each other out. The changing speed compensates for the shape of the orbit.”
“Thank you Ellen,” said The Lady. “To keep things simple for Maria,
let’s just think of circular orbits, which is really a special case of the
ellipse. Let’s say you have a ball sitting on the ground, and you place a ruler
on top of it so that either end is the same distance from the ground. The ball
represents the sun, and the ruler represents the direction an orbiting planet
wants to move in.
“According to Newton’s first law, the planet wants to move along the
edge of the ruler, in a straight line. But the force of gravity from the sun is
pulling on it at the same time. According to Newton’s second law, this force
will change its motion. If the speed of the planet is such that it falls
towards the sun by the same amount as it would move away from it traveling in a
straight line (for each moment in time), then the planet will continue to
circle the sun forever. It never gets closer or further away. Gravity causes it
to move in a curve instead of a straight line. And that curve eventually makes
a big circle around the sun.”
Maria’s head felt like it was going to burst! She loved all the new and
interesting information. She couldn’t help thinking briefly, “This may be
important to know one day!”
Suddenly, Ellen chimed in again, “It has been noted that if for some
reason the speed of a planet slowed, it will drop towards the sun farther than
it would move away in a straight line. But as this happens, it speeds up as the
sun’s gravity pulls on it, as things do when they fall. So eventually, it will
gain enough speed to balance the force of gravity, and it will start orbiting
the sun again, but only at a closer distance. And its orbit would become even
more elliptical.
“If it started moving faster instead, it will travel away from the sun
more than it drops. And just as falling closer to the sun speeds a planet up,
moving away slows it down. So that’s how you reach a point of balance again,
only this time its new orbit is further away from the sun.
“Some of our mathematicians have theorized that if a planet was moving
too slowly, it might crash into the sun before it could gain enough speed in
the perpendicular direction to reach a balance. Likewise, they say that if it
was moving too fast, it could actually escape the gravity of the sun altogether
and keep moving away from it forever, or at least until it ran into something,
like the vault of the stars.”
Maria said, “So, you’ve explained what keeps the planets from falling,
but you still haven’t explained what they are. What are the planets?”
“Simply put,” replied Lady Farrell “they are other worlds. Each one is
as much a world unto itself, as the Earth is a world. Mind you Maria, some of
them are even bigger than the Earth, and some of them are smaller. They come in
all different sizes.
“The moon, for example, was found out to be its own world quite some
time ago. And it actually does revolve around the Earth. Surprisingly,
it is the only thing in the sky that does. You see Maria; about 2,000 years ago
an ancient Greek philosopher by the name of Eratosthenes of Cyrene determined
the size of the Earth to be about 8,000 miles across. Shortly after that, the
great Greek astronomer Hipparchus calculated the size of the moon to be about
2,000 miles across and 240,000 miles away from Earth. All of these values are
very close to what we know them to be today. So the moon is a world about a
quarter the size of the Earth.”
“Do people live on the moon?” asked Maria.
“My dear Maria!” exclaimed The Lady. “We really have no idea. It would
seem that our telescopes are not yet powerful enough to determine that. There
are some darker areas on the moon, which some people believe to be seas. Look!
You can see them right now,” said Lady Farrell as she pointed at the moon.
“They are called ‘maria’, just like your name. There is just no way we are able
to see a person, or a building, or even a small city that is a quarter of a
million miles away, even with our most powerful telescopes. And the other
planets are even further away, so we know even less about them. The universe is
gigantic, Maria!”
“If there were people on the moon, wouldn’t they fall off?” asked
Maria.
“Well, the moon has its own gravity, just like the Earth does,” replied
Ellen. “Newton’s equation says that the force of gravity decreases the farther
you move away from its source. If you could travel from the Earth to the moon,
the Earth’s gravity would continue to grow weaker and weaker, while the moon’s
grows stronger and stronger. You would eventually reach a point where they
would be the same. This is called a Lagrange point, named after the mathematician
Joseph Louis Lagrange. Then as you continue on towards the moon, its gravity
would become stronger than the Earth’s. By the time you got to the moon, it
would be a lot stronger. So you couldn’t fall off the moon because its gravity
is stronger than the Earth’s when you’re there. It would pull you down to the
surface of the moon, just like Earth’s gravity pulls you down here.”
“Newton’s three laws remind me of Aristotle’s three rules. Is it
possible that Newton could be wrong, like Aristotle was?” asked Maria.
“Oh, no my dear! Newton can’t possibly been wrong!” stated The Lady.
“Don’t be so sure of that,” said Ellen. Rhetorically she asked herself,
“How could we tell when Newton goes wrong?” Then she said, “I know, the old
universe of concentric spheres relied on things that were invisible. They were
even thought to have music that we couldn’t hear. So here’s Ellen Dannay’s
contribution to modern science:
“Ellen’s Universal Law #1: Whenever a theory begins to postulate
things that are invisible in order to make it work, that theory, no matter what
it may be or who may have originated it, is in trouble!”
Time, days
and finally weeks rolled on, and the three women got to know each other quite
well. Ellen and The Lady quickly became good friends with Maria, who was
getting quite an education. The ladies managed to gain Maria’s trust, and she
finally told them her sir name: Price. She told them about her home and
neighbors, the street boys she had known and how she managed to stow away on
the ship. But she never told them about her father and what he had done to her.
She told them how, but not why she had run away.
Maria’s mind had caught on fire with the desire for more knowledge.
Every night before falling asleep she lay there looking up at the stars and
thinking about all the things she was learning from the two ladies. She
couldn’t help but wonder: Is this what it means to be a great lady, to know
about such things? How many more things are there to learn about out there?
The Universe seemed so vast to her, and the distances involved so
incredibly far. Maria wondered: Are there people living on the moon or the
planets? Do they have oceans, just like the Earth? Could there be someone lost
on one of them, staring back at me just as I’m lost, staring up at them? So
many questions, yet so few answers.
It had been
four weeks now, and they had yet to site land. Four weeks in their little boat,
lost on the infinite plain of the ocean. Unfortunately, the wind was still
blowing towards the north, so they had to use the oars to travel east. They had
been rowing almost constantly for a week, and it seemed like an eternity.
“I hope my fiancé still wants to marry me when he sees these hands,”
complained The Lady. “And these clothes! I wish so much I could bathe and change
into some clean clothes!”
In reality, that should have been the least of Lady Farrell’s worries.
The elements were affecting their skin, their hair and their lips, making them
all look old and weathered, even Maria. No one wanted to talk about that, and
there really wasn’t much they could do about it anyway. It was too depressing.
Worse yet, they were starting to run low on supplies. They had only
about a week’s worth of food and water remaining, even with the rationing they
started a week ago.
Lady Farrell continued, “Just keep your eyes open. We should be
sighting land any day now.” Then she said, “I know, let’s all pray. We’ll pray
for God to help us find safety soon.”
So holding hands, Lady Farrell, Ellen and even Maria quietly sat and
prayed for God’s help, that He should bring them home. Lady Farrell prayed out
loud in a subdued voice, more earnestly and sincerely than she had ever done
before in her life. She prayed for her two companions, and herself.
Later, that
same day while Maria was taking a nap, The Lady turned to Ellen and whispered,
“You know after four weeks, I don’t believe I’ve ever seen a smile on that
girl’s face.”
“I know exactly what you mean,” responded Ellen. “She must have had a
very hard time of things up until now. She’s really taking all this quite well,
considering. Let us talk, while she’s asleep. What do you think our chances
are?”
“Our situation looks grim, Ellen. We should have sighted land by now,
but we haven’t even seen any birds. We still must be a long ways offshore.”
Ellen said, “That’s what I had deduced as well. We must be caught in
some sort of current, or something. Your plan is good, but we have no way to
navigate. We know in what direction and speed we’re heading relative to the
water, but not the land. For all we know, we’re rowing towards shore at three
knots, while the current is carrying us out at five.”
The Lady, expanding on Ellen’s analysis said, “The sad thing is that
five miles to the north or south, the current might be reversed, yet we have no
way of finding that out. If we could navigate and know where we are in relation
to the land, it would be an easy thing to figure out. Even if we had a sextant,
we still wouldn’t know where we are, East to West. They’re only useful for
determining your position North to South. You need a ship’s clock to determine
longitude. And our ship’s clock is sitting on the bottom of the ocean, along
with the rest of Captain Marshall’s ship.”
Ellen sighed, “Well, if we can’t get back, maybe at least I’ll get to
be with Captain Marshall after we die.”
Lady Farrell was instantly sorry she had brought up the subject of
Captain Marshall and his lost ship. It was a stupid thing to say. So trying to
encourage Ellen she said, “Don’t give up yet. It’s still possible to have a
chance encounter with another ship. They might see us and pick us up. I’d even
settle for the Spaniards at this point. Just no pirates, please; at least not
the ones we encountered before. In the meantime, we’ll start rowing northeast.
Maybe we can find a more favorable current.”
The three
women rowed for another week. Their food had run out and there was next to no
water left. Maria lay in the bottom of the boat, looking up at the stars.
“Why doesn’t God help us?” she asked.
The Lady said, “Maybe he still will, dear.”
“But we’re running out of everything. Doesn’t he know that?”
“Of course he knows.”
“So, why doesn’t He help?” questioned Maria, rather frantically.
Lady Farrell gave Maria no reply and Maria once again thought of her
father, and the comparison that she had made between God and him while she was
hiding in the hold. If her father knew where they were, Maria knew he
would do something to help. Yes, even her mad father would help if he could,
even if the only reason for it were so he could rape her yet again. But God
wasn’t doing anything. Maria knew it for a fact. She could feel it in her
bones.
God wasn’t like her father at all. He was worse. Her father fed and
clothed her. He had an interest in her. It was a very selfish one, but an
interest nevertheless. God didn’t even have that. He didn’t even have an
interest in abusing her. Her life, and yes, even the lives of these wonderful
ladies with her, meant absolutely nothing to God. He didn’t seem to care about
any of them.
It
seemed so odd, thought Maria to herself. How could any god who created such a
wonderful universe, be so unconcerned about the things that go on inside it?
She could understand why God would not rescue her, because she had been bad.
What she couldn’t understand is why he wouldn’t rescue the two ladies. Anyone
could see that they had been good their entire lives. Maybe if she died first,
then God would rescue them. She prayed that she might die, in order to save the
others.
It had been
nearly six weeks now. The food and water were long gone. No one was able to row
any longer. They didn’t even have the stamina to man the sail or tiller any
more, all they were able to do was lay there and wait. Wait for what? For God
to hear their prayers and send a rescue? Oh, if only He would! If only he would.
Hope kept them alive, one breath at a time.
But no help came. They saw no land and no ships, not even a bird. Not
even so much as a dot on the horizon, like they had last seen the pirate ship.
Still, the women waited. They knew that even after they lost consciousness,
there was still a chance, a very small chance, they could be spotted and
rescued before they died. The ladies were resolved in their hearts to hope and
cling to life, for as long as they could. Maria still wanted to die. It was
only the vitality of youth that had kept her alive until now.
The Lady prayed silently to herself, for that was all she could do. She prayed again and again for her two companions, but she no longer prayed for herself, for it was she who had led them to this fate.
Chapter 12 - Rescued, or Not?
Lady Farrell drifted in and out of consciousness. She kept telling herself: I must stay awake! She softly called out to Ellen and Maria, but couldn't get either to respond. The Lady forced herself to scan the horizon one more time. She could barely hold her head up anymore. “Nothing!" she muttered under her breath, as her head came crashing back down.
So, this is the end?
she asked herself. Soon, even she would no longer be able to stay awake. She
was so tired and weak!
What a waste, she
thought. Ellen and myself, so educated, so refined - that we should come to
this. And then there is Maria, so young. What a waste. Not just for us, but for
human society itself. The waste of all the resources that were expended on us.
The investment made in our very being, which will now never be realized.
Lady Farrell couldn’t shake off the responsibility she felt for Ellen
and Maria. It was her decision that had led them here. Maybe they would have
all been better off with the pirates. True, they might have died even quicker
that way, but maybe, just maybe the pirates might have behaved differently; if
they had known women were on board?
It seemed as if she were grasping for straws, a thread of logic that
may have saved them all from the situation in which they now found themselves.
That is the trouble with decisions; you can never go back and find out how
things would have turned out, if you had chosen differently. There is just no
way to tell.
Then Lady Farrell noticed something in the water, not far away. It
definitely wasn't a ship. It looked like a metal pipe. The pipe seemed to be
anchored to something, as waves moved up and down against it, while it stayed
still. Could the pipe go all the way to the bottom of the ocean? She thought: How
odd that a pipe should be sticking up out of the water in the middle of
the ocean!
It seemed absurd, but it didn't arouse her at all. In fact, she felt
nothing. So, there was a pipe in the middle of the sea. It didn't mean
anything. There was no way that it could help them. The pipe looked like it was
getting higher. Yes, it was rising up and the water around it was beginning to
churn. Then the most unusual thing happened.
A shiny silvery wall started coming up out of the sea! Ten feet, twenty
feet, thirty and more, with the pipe still on top. It made no sense. Then she
realized the awful truth of the matter. She was hallucinating. Her health must
have deteriorated to the point that she was no longer sane.
She felt mildly amused and wondered what would happen next. The entire
sea in her field of view began to boil. A huge object, silvery like the wall on
top began to emerge from the depths. It must be hundreds of feet wide, and the
wake from the boiling water started pushing her little boat away.
Yes, this was amusing. An empty sea becomes a sea with a pipe. Then the
pipe becomes a wall. Then the wall becomes, what was that, some sort of
gigantic ship?
Ships don't come up out of the water. They might go down, but they
never come back. And this was a most unusual object. It looked like it was
entirely made out of metal. There wasn't that much metal in the entire world!
Even if there were, why would anyone make a ship out of it? The idea was
so absurd, Lady Farrell almost laughed!
It didn’t look like ordinary metal. It had a bright silvery gleam to
it, like a mirror or the polished blade of a knife. What looked like a door
appeared at the bottom of the silvery wall. Funny, that wasn’t there a
moment ago, she thought. Then her amusement turned to fear. Something she couldn't
describe came out of the door.
Maybe the huge metallic object is a ship, but she had no idea
what this thing was. It was black and shiny, no, slimy all over. It was huge
and bulky like an animal, more robust than a man. And it had what looked like
arms, and maybe legs? And it had some sort of malformed head. Its head was like
no other she had ever seen.
Her mind grappled with the apparition. The head was black and slimy,
just like the rest of the beast. And it had a single huge eye! Where its mouth
should be was some kind of round, shiny object that stuck out.
It "walked" in a lumbering, cumbersome way. It was moving towards
her! Lady Farrell's skin began to crawl. She could hear it
"breathing!" It didn’t sound like any other breathing she had ever heard.
It was loud and mechanical, more like the sound of a blacksmith's bellows!
Another one came out of the door. Then another! As they maneuvered she
could see they had some sort of large black cylinders on their backs. And they
had belts with what looked like metal squares on them.
Lady Farrell was so frightened! She thought how odd it was that
anything could frighten her now that she was about to die anyway. When one
dies, what difference does it really make what killed you? These creatures and
their "ship" were so strange, so out of the ordinary, so unexpectedly
bizarre she felt intense fear nevertheless. It made the hairs standup on the
back of her neck!
One of them jumped into the water and she saw its "feet". No,
she must have seen wrong. But when the others jumped in, she saw it again.
Their feet were huge, black, and shaped like a fish's tail! No wonder these
things had trouble walking. They didn't have trouble swimming though. They were
approaching the longboat, rapidly!
What were these things? Lady Farrell's mind reeled and had no recourse
but to resort to myth and legend for an explanation. Yes, there were
mythological stories of Cyclops and mermaids. Was this some sort of combination
of the two? How could her mind possibly be generating this?
She thought of the absurdity of it all, and wondered if this is what
happens to people when they die. Does the mind "invent" some sort of
“rescue” because it is unwilling to accept the inevitable? Was her mind
"grasping at straws" no matter how insane, inventing things as it
went along like in a dream?
Yes, yes. That must be what was happening. A "ship" suddenly
comes up out of the sea, because there is not enough time left for it to sail
from the horizon. But why the strange creatures?
One of the creatures was almost to the boat now! Lady Farrell could see
more detail about the eye. It was about as wide as their head, and stuck out
several inches. The surface of the jutting eye was flat and almost looked like
glass.
It pulled itself up into the longboat! Then it picked up Maria and took
her over to a little boat that one of the other creatures was bringing up along
side. Where did that boat come from? Lady Farrell was sure she couldn’t have
missed it being launched from the metal ship. True, she hadn’t been watching it
since the creatures started coming near her boat. From somewhere, somehow,
there was now another boat here.
This didn’t surprise The Lady much. After all, you have to expect such
things in dreams, things that appear from nowhere. She noticed the boat had the
same sort of slimy black skin. It wasn’t an animal, nor did it appear to be
alive. It was definitely a boat.
Another of the creatures pulled itself up into the longboat and began
attending to Ellen. The third creature stayed in the water, evidently to steady
the little black boat. Then the creature that had moved Maria did something
extremely strange.
Strange. How could things get any stranger? But they were. The creature
was retrieving something that looked like meat, like raw beef, from the little
boat. And it started placing it where Maria had been. It looked like the meat
you might find in any ship’s galley, which had recently left port. In fact, it
could have even come from Captain Marshall’s ship, which now lay at the bottom
of the sea.
It didn’t make any sense. The other creature was moving Ellen over to the little black boat. Then it started doing the same thing. Placing meat where she had been. Then the first one, evidently having completed its task, turned, and was approaching her! When it bent down to lift her, she could see right into its eye. Then, there it was. Inside the eye, behind the glass, was the scrunched up face of a man!
Chapter 13 - The Strange Awakening
...
This is only the first half (about 27,000 words) of the first of three volumes (220,000 words) of a new science fiction epic on sale now at Amazon.com in paperback or for the Kindle electronic reader. To find the rest of the story follow this link: http://www.amazon.com/Safety-Factor-Use-Power/dp/1439259399
Hello! My name is Jerry Travis. I’m a writer with a long
professional career (30 years) in information technology. I’ve worked inside a
number of the government’s most sensitive locations. With the help of a couple
friends, we have written a new (just released February, 2009) science fiction
and romance epic called “The Safety Factor”. It’s divided into three
separate novels, each unique to a particular time period. Are you interested in
reading something that IS NOT a “formula book”, something that’s uniquely
different in both its wide scope and depth? Then you should seriously consider
this series.
The first book takes place in the early 18th
century. Maria, a stowaway aboard a sailing ship becomes friends with Lady
Farrell and her handmaiden, Ellen. The Lady is on her way to Venice, where she
is to be wed to Count Marcel. However, their ship falls under attack by pirates,
and so begins an adventure that spans some 733 years! The three women are picked
up by a time traveling military submarine, and taken back to their home base in
the future.
The second book is set about 70 years from now, when
Earth’s population has topped 10 billion and civilization is teetering on the
brink. Rene, a brilliant and unorthodox technician covertly uses the time travel
technology to go back some 65 years, to the time period of the Third World War
(about five years from now). He saves a woman he has fallen in love with (across
time) from an untimely death. The pair eventually meets up with our 18th
century refugees, but all of them are forced to flee yet another 365 years into
the future – to escape from a world falling into unprecedented social turmoil.
The time period of the third book is about 435 years from
now. The former civilization (our civilization) has utterly collapsed and the
Earth’s population has been reduced to about what it was during the time of
the ancient Greeks and Romans. The people there are in the midst of building a
new civilization based largely on our technology, some of which has managed to
survive the intervening years. Our time travelers try to make a home for
themselves, but are confronted by enormous changes in the human psyche.
This new “trilogy” is full of stark and insightful explorations into history, politics, science, mathematics, physics, psychology, human relationships and sexuality. If you like reading things that are more than mere entertainment, that leave you with something you can walk away with, then these books are for you. Currently, “The Safety Factor” series is available only on Kindle. Please, feel free to check it out. We welcome your comments.
The following is a list of the more “sensitive” organizations at which Mr. Travis has worked; The Aerospace Corporation, Bechtel Nevada, Bonneville Power Administration (BPA), Department of Energy (DOE), Department of Homeland Security Headquarters (DHS), Immigrations and Customs Enforcement (ICE), Department of Justice - Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Explosives (ATF), Department of Justice - Office of Justice Programs (OJP), Fluor Hanford, HRL Laboratories, Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory (LBNL), Los Alamos National Laboratory (LANL), Department of Commerce - National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA), Pacific Northwest National Laboratory (PNNL), Transportation Security Administration (TSA), Uranium Disposition Services (UDS), and the Waste Isolation Pilot Plant (WIPP). You may find the political insights of someone who has actually worked inside these organizations interesting.
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